Dead World
by ANNAinDreamland
Summary: She was usually left to her own devices, used to being alone and preferring it. She's curt, dislikes people and hates him. But he always finds her until one day, he was the one gone forever. Now, Soul Society isn't the same and they want to know what really happened the day ten of the top shinigami disappeared. ShinjiOC
1. The Sunshine

Chapter One: The Sunshine

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After living so long, the memories of my childhood have jumbled together. The oldest memories are by far faded and gone. The only ones that stay are the ones important to me. The ones that feel like they make up a part of the person I am now. Or the ones that suddenly surface, jarring me back into the past that I had forgotten.

The memories that stay and are the ones I hold dearest in my heart, though, are all the same; the memories of the sun.

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A calloused rough hand encompasses my own tiny hand, if it could even be called a hand. It doesn't drag me along but my short legs have trouble keeping up with the long, purposeful strides of the person next to me. I looked up past the black wisps of hairs in my eyes to the clean shaven face above me.

Light seemed to reflect from the dark, coarse hair of the man and I had to blink tears away before I could look at him. The frowning man seemed to be in thought as we walked along the dusty pathway. We had already passed the small woodlands from our house, the only area I really knew. This dusty land was new to me, the neat white buildings a different sight and the people dressed in black incomprehensible to me.

The man glanced down at me before giving a small smile. "Don't look at me like that," He spoke to me. "Grandma is in the hospital feeling very ill. You had to come with me while your Momma's watching her."

I must have frowned, looked unhappy or something because the next words came out of his mouth, "We told you that you can't go visit. Grandma might get you sick." Would it be worth it, I wondered? I would get to listen to the stories she tells and we could be in the same room together. I wouldn't miss her that way.

My father laughed and jerked me from my thoughts. "Come now, child. Don't despair! You will finally see where your father and momma work." The hand around mine clenched and I could feel the muscles tense. Suddenly, I was brought into the air, light rays blinding my sight.

As soon as I was picked off the ground, I was in the bulging muscles of my father. I looked over the shoulder of my father, past the sword that has long grown used to my sight on his back, and beyond. People were shuffling from place to place, all dressed in the same uniform as my father. "Now, my captain may be lenient but even I will be berated for my lateness."

With that, the sight before me vanished into a speeding blur to my uneducated eyes. Black strands whipped around my face as I stared into the blue sky.

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The clank of metal filled the grounds. One after another, some at the same time and sometimes, there would be a grinding noise when two sounds, determined and forceful, hit and persisted. I sat on the bench off to the side, watching the men as they ran to and way from their opponent, only a couple women participating. One with long brown hair ran and met her opponent, knocking his blade to the ground with dust flying.

By now, the sun had reached far above the city, causing the citizens below to swelter. The air around created a breeze should you stand past the large squad buildings. But I sat close to the building, left where my father told me to sit. My pale kimono left stagnant.

The sight was a bore. The soldiers in the training grounds provided no amusement, the sky was too bright to look at without feeling pained and I thought to bring no toys. A shadow for the first time in what seemed hours enclosed me and suddenly passed. Quickly, I jerked my head and my breath hitched.

Bright blonde hair blew in the wind created by the steps the person was taking. The hair didn't just reflect the sun. It absorbed it, refracted it and seemed to blaze with its own source. My breath was taken away. My feet hopped to the ground, the dirt hot but pleasant in its living warmth from the sun. I scurried along after the sunshine hair, unnoticed.

The man next to him seemed to be ushering alone. He, too, was dressed similar to the other soldiers but the one next to him alone wore a white haori. This one seemed to dredge along, his footsteps heavy in annoyance but short steps to go by slower. At least, slow to the man with brown hair next to him. I was the one whose bare feet had to hurry to stay behind them.

And as I walked behind them, my gaze concentrated on the sunny mane of hair. In my mind, it seemed to light up the surrounding surface. They turned at the edge of the white building and walked into a hallway where others were spilling to and from. Some people I had to dodge, others paid no attention and some swerved around me with little care. Paying attention not to get stepped on and my focus on the blonde, I paid no attention to anything else. I paid no attention to where we were or the turns they took, as long as I followed them.

They came to a paper door, the blonde stomped in and the brunette, sighed, about to close the door. A child, I felt prompted to follow my fascination and with a child's courage, rushed forward. The thing about being so short is that few people look that close to the ground. I darted past the unknown man and met the blonde's hair. I reached up and grabbed a clump of the man.

My weight on the hair must have been light but it did garner the attention of the person and the man behind me shot forward, picking me up. The blonde turned and stared at me with dull, hazel eyes, frowning. "What is that, Sousuke? Get rid of it. I don't need spawn of yours littering around the squad office." The blonde hair stayed tight in my grasp as I gazed wide eyed at the man before me.

The man, Sousuke, behind me frowned, as my stomach hung over his arms. "It is a child, Captain, and I can assure you that she is not mine."

"Mine!" I repeated him, causing the blonde captain to snort and frown deeper, white teeth showing through proclaiming, "Well, do something about it. It ain't supposed ta be here."

The brunette sighed deeply, "Of course, Captain. I'll find her parents but you need to start signing papers when I leave." The man moved backwards, as if to start leaving but my grip never left the hair in my hand. So, as I was pulled backwards, so was the man in white. This happened once more before the captain interjected.

"Now, girl. He wriggled his fingers around my own, causing me to become afraid that I would lose the prize in my hand. "Give it to me. It's not yours to begin with." His fingers pried under my pale ones and desperate, I started wailing.

A person might think I was bratty by this scene, causing the captain to place his fingers in his ears, but in all reality, I had just found what I had been fascinated with. My grandmother would tell me about Amaterasu, the sun goddess, and Tsukiyomi, the moon god. Ever since I could recall, the sun had always been my obsession. And now, it was being ripped away from me.

"Get her outta here, Sousuke!" The blonde exclaimed, wincing from my screams and the grip on his hair. "I have things to do!"

"Captain, I am not a baby sitter. I refuse to drag around a screaming baby, looking for her parents." The other established. "I am the Lieutenant of this squad and would like to be treated as such." Tears had already welled past my eyes and clumped my eyelashes together. I felt as if everything I knew was being ripped from me. "Please, be quiet child."

But it had always been enforced in me to respect my elders. Immediately, my voice hushed and quieted. I looked dolefully upon the man whose hair I held. He was scowling at me with half-lidded eyes.

"If I let you stay while Sousuke searches for your parents, will you be quiet?" He asked, boring into my watery, black eyes. I nodded eagerly, heart jumping at the thought of being near the man who seemed to embody the sun. Suddenly, the man stuck his forefingers in his nose nostrils and yanked down his lower eyelids with his thumbs. I jerked back and succumbed to giggles.

"Well, ya have it! She wants to stay while you look for the parents!" The sun-man exclaimed, smirking toothily at the man behind me. "Have fun, Sousuke."

Knowing I would stay, I began to touch the yellow hair with both of my hands, feeling the softness of the sun-colored hair. The man went to let go of me, however, and paused. "Captain, what about the paperw-?"

Blonde hair swung as the man looked to the side and shrugged his hands up. "Guess I'm stuck babysitting!" He stated and with that, I was swiped from the hands of the Lieutenant into the arms of the captain. I was tossed over the shoulder of the man and my face in the soft mane of hair of sun-man. "Don't worry now! Everything's under control. Getting going!" Steps retreated from the room, the door closed and I found myself with my bare feet on the hard wooden floor.

The captain pulled his face down to my uplifted one and glanced at me dully. "Don't get your hopes up, kid. I just didn't want to do paperwork." I had little comprehension of what he meant so I looked upon his hair falling past his chest and smiled. "And that hair in your hand? That's mine; not yours."

"Yours!" I chirped. His eyes narrowed, inspecting.

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That was how my father found me. Tiny me, on the edge of the man's desk, while the man sat with his legs up next to me, talking with a white haired man in front of the desk. I was left to nibble on a yellow piece of candy the white haired man gave me. I was told to be wary of candy from strangers but the sun-man seemed to trust him and it was the only way to get me to let go of the sun-hair.

I swung my bare heels against the side of the wooden desk, smiling as the white haired man held out another piece of candy for me. My sticky fingers clasped the sweet piece and I placed it in my mouth to suck on. The sun-man snorted. "Good thing you came, Ukitake. Never thought I'd get the little brat outta my hair. It was so hard ta enjoy my book while she played with it."

The other man laughed. "She doesn't seem like a brat. Rather quiet and content really. Good thing I keep candy in my pocket, though."

"Candy!" I mimicked, causing the blonde man to jerk up and tilt his head downwards from me above me. "Huh," He affirmed, hazel eyes staring at me. "I thought she just repeated the last word of everything we said." Not understanding, I just grinned and reached upward to grab a strand of hair. Instead, I felt a tight clamp on my wrist from the sun-man. He grimaced toothily. "Not with those sticky hands, ya don't!"

Frowning, I had to admit he gave me an order and stopped my advance, just as the door pulled open. In walked the man from before and…Papa following. "Papa!" I cheered, holding out another piece of candy, for him this time. My father rushed forward, his pants flowing backward, and quickly bowed. Papa never came near so the candy found a way to my mouth.

"Forgive me, Captain Hirako!" He panted. His eyes stayed trained on the ground, hands folded. "I had to bring my daughter due to not having a babysitter on short notice. She's only four! Please, forgive her! Junko, do you know what you've done?" My father stood up as I peeped 'Nope!' in the background. Upon being startled by the other man in the room, Papa bowed again. "Forgive me for the intrusion, Captain Ukitake." Then, he stood straight, a stern look on his face but worried eyes staring at me. The sun-man behind me waved his hands in nonchalance.

"Oh, yeah. You're Hibiki Itou," Sun-man Hirako declared, eyes half-lidded again as he leaned over his desk. The Lieutenant stood next to the door, saying nothing. My father waited in abated silence. The air seemed tense for him. The blonde captain broke the silence. "I really don't care. She got me outta paperwork. Actually, bring her some other time. It'sa good excuse when Sousuke's on my ass." The Lieutenant seemed to twitch and jerk in pain.

My father released a breath of air and bowed. "Thank you for your kindness. I can assure you I will not do that unless in absolute necessity." With that, my father treaded toward me. His curious dark eyes met my satisfied dark ones. I didn't necessarily look like my mother or father, just a mixed set of genes from both. "Why did you leave when I told you to stay point?" I smiled and pointed to the blonde mane of hair. Sounding annoyed, my father went on, "Use your words, Junko! Forgive her, she sometimes refuses to speak."

Another command and annoyance of my own. It was so clear to me. "Because," I declared in a loud voice, or as high as possible for a four year old. "His hair reminds me of Amaterasu, the sun goddess, Papa." With that, the sun-man grumbled about being a ladies' man, not a sun goddess, the white haired man howled with laughter, the Lieutenant chuckled and my father begged for forgiveness.

Despite the "encouragement" from the sun-man to come again and distract him, my parents only brought me a couple more times with them to work. I would follow the sun-man around when I did come, entranced in his sunny hair. He would grumble at his nickname that I called him until I was told to answer to him by his name. But once my grandmother was out of the hospital, I never went there again and it was no longer important.

Several years later, I would still remember that man. I had always been appreciative of Amaterasu but he was the first to get me to understand the moon god, Tsukiyomi. The time he scowled at me with my black hair, black eyes and pale skin and retorted, "If I am Amaterasu, then you are Tsukiyomi." Then again, he might have been insulting me, calling me a boy.

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The last time I saw him in my youth was not a happy one. It didn't matter that the day was a fairly nice spring one. That the air was warm and the swift breeze cool. I spent my time indoors, however, cooking supper while the sky was a light blue outside. The fried rice was sizzling in my pan as I held the wooden spoon, stirring to prevent burning. I had no real thoughts, just the tedious routine of cooking food. It was my job to do if Grandma was ill and my parents were working.

It was in this dull that the knocking started. Loud raps like that would wake my grandmother and she had finally stopped coughing a bit ago. Groaning, I yelled out to the visitors, "Hold on! Give me a second!" With reluctance, I laid the skillet to the side of the fire and blew out the small fire from the grill. It was rare to have visitors at the Itou household. My parents were usually gone from working and my grandmother got sick off and on. No one really comes here.

I didn't bother to take off the dirty apron over my dark yukata and trudged over to the front door in the kitchen/living room combination. I was already scowling as I yanked the door open. No good came from visitors at our household.

I immediately recognized the blonde hair that trailed in the spring wind. After all, I spent years with my parents and their squad members saying that I must have had a little girl's crush on him all these years ago. It was humiliating, even to this day. "Captain?" I uttered in surprise, not too kindly, forgetting myself. "What are you doing here?" My heart dropped when I noticed, too late, his down casted eyes, not quite meeting my own.

My voice caught in my throat, clumping it up with a pain. Captain Hirako still looked off to the side and didn't respond to my question. Instead, he spoke, "Can I come in and speak with the person in charge a' the household?"

As I said, no good came from visitors at my home. Shinigami brought orders that took my parents away, occasionally, one would come to inform us that one of my parents might be in the 4th Division's hospital but I could only imagine one reason a captain would come to my household. I opened my mouth and my speech cracked. "I…" I winced. "That would be me. What brings you hear?" I asked more boldly than I ever felt.

The man on the other side of the doorframe looked at me for the first time with pain in his eyes. "No one else?" Hirako questioned and I remembered my age. 12, 13, 14….Whatever it was, I must have been a child in his eyes. I hated the pity in his brown eyes, staring at my black ones, as if he was praying there was someone else he could speak with.

There wasn't besides an old, sick woman in the room next door. I could already hear her coughing start up through the thin wooden walls. We must have awoken her. My eyes narrowed, trying to prevent the watering eyes that were beginning. "No," I snapped, watching him barely flinch at the side of my sharp voice. I wondered what it sounded like to him, a child's voice. "My grandmother is ill. As such, if you wish to speak, I suggest we step outside." The blonde nodded in agreement and I prayed he brought news that my parents were only in the hospital, even if mortally hurt.

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My parents weren't in the hospital. Their captain spared me most of the details, some I already knew. They had both been on a mission in the material world, no reason given to me. Hibiki and my mother Fuji volunteered for the supposedly easy mission but they sent out an SOS the night before. Their bodies were found before anyone could help them.

My eyes stung as the spring breeze whipped my long hair past my eyes, the black lashes matching the black strands. Had my hair been longer, it might have reached Captain Hirako's blonde hair, also flowing in the wind. The strange thoughts I had as he spoke to me about the funeral arrangements.

"They wouldn't want that," I interjected as he spoke about the possibility of bringing their bodies home to bury on this land. I glanced upward, trying to hide the tears that had already threatened to flow past my eyelids. The light bounced through the bright green leaves of the thick tree branches, hitting my eyes and causing them to blink. "They specifically told me they wanted to have a Shinigami's cremation." And have no attachment to me, I thought to myself.

The captain stared at me with his brown eyes and more than once in my life, I wondered what he thought. I wondered if perhaps he was questioning me or questioning my own parents. Or himself. A particularly strong breeze passed through and snapped my hair in his face. My heart faltered inside of me as I realized how close we were. Too close…a foot? Two? "Sorry," I muttered, gathering up the dark hair behind me, slipping a band at the nape of my neck to keep it in place.

He shrugged it off and for the first time today, gave me a toothily smirk. "I understand," He stated in an energetic voice. "Got my own problem with that!" The blonde flipped a thumb behind him, pointing to his own blonde hair that was longer than me own. I laughed for a second until I recognized the forced energy in the man's voice and remembered my place.

The young girl who had just found out her parents were dead. I remembered this light moment for us was false, that the man was only trying to make me feel better. That, for some reason, made me feel worse than anything, that this small blimp of happiness was fake. My laugh turned into a cry as I crumpled forward to the ground.

Instead of hitting the grassy dirt, Captain Hirako grabbed me and forced my face into his white captain's haori. Sobs erupted from my throat and tears sprang from my closed eyes. He kept his arms at my shoulders, keeping me standing without effort as all energy in my legs had already left. My own hands found themselves gripping the sides of his haori.

"I didn't mean for them to die!" I wept. "All I did was pray they would no longer be shinigami," I spoke, admitting a dark truth inside of me. "I just wanted them to be with me for once. For them to be around and actually act like my parents!"

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He was kind to hold me for a few moments before I pushed him aside and demanded he left me alone. I had always been too proud to let others see my cry. Even now, the shame was already building up. By the time I got inside to finish supper, the pan that had still been hot from an extinguished flame had already burned the rice and the sunshine outside turned dark with the rain approaching.

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_A/N: So, these next couple chapters are going to be like memories to Junko Itou. The scenes are probably going to be fast paced, showing specific areas in her life that are important and moving on to the next. I only have some chapters written and I don't get a lot of time to write but I wanted to see if the story was worthwhile. Thank you for reading! :D_


	2. The Cycles

_A/N- The attention Hirako is giving Junko may seem unnatural for the first few chapters, since he hardly knows her. But in the next few chapters, that's going to get explained! As a hint, I just feel that Hirako is the type of guy who feels really bad when he lets his teammates/subordinates down and likes to make it up to them._

Chapter Two: The Cycles

It is said that Amaterasu follows Tsukiyomi. It is a myth but in the time of my childhood, these stories had been a source of life to me. I lived off of them and craved the stories my grandmother would tell me when she felt up to it. The feelings I felt when I heard the myths had long since dried up and my grandmother's storytelling words died with her son and daughter-in-law. However, when I am feeling particularly nostalgic, I think of them.

It is said that Amaterasu follows Tsukiyomi but I wondered if perhaps, they followed each other, trying to catch up with one another, always failing.

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There is a cycle to my day; I wake up early, do the morning chores, make breakfast, wake my grandmother to eat, read to her, make lunch, eat with my grandmother, let her nap, do the afternoon chores, make supper, let my grandmother go to bed, go to work, shower, repeat.

The only changes I make are necessary ones. I might go to buy groceries, my grandmother might visit some friends if she feels up to it, I'll sew if our clothes need mending or one of us might be too sick for the routine. Otherwise, it is a routine and I don't mind it. In a way, I prefer it. I know what to expect and when to expect it.

My work is typically of routine too, I thought, as I wiped down a table in the bar. The customers are nearly always the same, I'm given the same hours and what is expected of me is the same. I pocketed the tip left at abandoned table as a nearly silent thought entered my head.

…Or maybe I'm boring…

But as soon as it entered, it left and I swept across the floor to another table, eyes barely taking in the new customers at the small table. I liked the job as it didn't involve much thought and working here a couple years now didn't help. "How may I help you?" I asked with a bland smile on my face and blank eyes staring down at the white slip of paper in my hand for ordering.

"Two bottles of sake!" A male's voice called out offhandedly, as if paying me little attention (as per most guests here).

"Two bottles," I repeated, marking it down. "Anything else for you?" My eyes lifted upward to the customers, going around the table to count the number of glasses I would need for the sake. One wavy, blonde haired man…one green haired (Wait, green haired? Yup) girl…one blonde woman with her back turned to me…wait.

White haori…

Long blonde hair…

"Nah!" The blonde called out. The blonde with their back turned. Definitely male voice. Not him, I begged as the man began to turn.

Male voice…

"You!" He yelled out when he did turn around. By that time, the man had jumped out of his chair and stood hunched over with his finger pointed at me. My false smile had already turned in a form of grimace in which I tried smiling and horribly failed. And my bland eyes had narrowed slightly.

Captain Hirako. I will never feel more shame in my life than I had when I realized I cried in front of him.

His table had already erupted in chaos. The green haired girl was jumping up and down, screaming about how he knew me. A white haired man was trying to calm her but only succeeded in screaming, himself. The wavy haired blonde was talking nonsense and promptly ignored. Well, he mentioned art but it was kind of the same thing to me.

"So… Anything else I can get for you?" I questioned, trying to smile again but only brought together a wide grimace. The table quieted as the green haired girl tilted her head, the white haired man covered her mouth and Captain Hirako facepalmed. No one moved. "Okay, I'll bring out five glasses for you with the sake." There was, I noticed, a girl with braided hair reading a magazine to herself with them. Until she looked up at me, put down her magazine and I think she stared at me. There was a glare on her glasses.

I began to turn around, feeling rather weirded out, and headed back to the bartender. "Hold on!" Captain Hirako yelled out angrily and I could hear him stomping behind me. I tried hurrying to get away but a clamp-like hand grabbed one of my ears. I yelped in pain as he dragged me toward the very destination I was going; the bartender. He's also the owner.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I exclaimed, trying to jerk away from him. Instead of letting go completely, the blonde let go of my ear, held my shoulders and veered me toward the graying haired man grabbing some glasses for us already. Hirako positioned me in front of the bar owner and jumped around me to point at him.

"What is she doin' here?!" He, again, yelled out. I slapped my face and dragged it downward, wondering what got me into the position. The graying man just froze with his hand positioned to put the fifth glass on the tray to give to the customers. "She's underage! Are you okay with her dealing with alcohol and pervy old men." Hirako ignored my "Eh?!" and the green haired girl calling out, "You're the pervy old man!"

"Captain Hirako," Rikuto, the owner, started, raising a thick eyebrow of his. "Miss Itou's only been handing out alcohol since she turned of age. And she's never mentioned customers giving her a problem. Is that correct?" Rikuto glanced at me with curious eyes. I just shrugged and denied any problems, which was the truth. The type of men who came to the Loyal Sword weren't the type of men to give girls trouble.

But Hirako insisted. "Of course they give her trouble! Look at her outfit!" Both men and I looked down at the outfit I was wearing. It was a dark purple yukata, knee length and long sleeves, with black pants underneath. The night weather was always a bit cool.

"Is something wrong with my outfit?" I wondered aloud.

"Never mind!" The blonde captain demanded as I began to doubt that he actually looked at what I was wearing before he said something. He probably just assumed… Just in case, I grabbed at the bottom of the purple yukata and stared at it. "I just don't believe this is the best place for her ta work!"

Maybe some was wrong with my outfit?

"Oh! Captain Hirako!" A girly voice called out from the back hall and then, Kaoru popped out. She jumped next to Rikuto, plopped her elbows on the bar counter and grinned. "You're sitting at a different table than usual! I began to wonder if maybe you all didn't like my waitressing anymore. Is something wrong, Junko? They didn't complain about you, did they? That would be the first time ever for you!"

The blonde captain scratched his head while I just glanced from Hirako to Kaoru to Rikuto who just stared back at me. He pointed his thumb to an occupied table. "Our table was taken so we sat somewhere else." Kaoru nodded, knowing that happens occasionally to the regulars, when new people come in and don't know the regulars have specific tables they like.

I let go of my yukata and placed my attention in Kaoru. "They're your regulars?" She shook her head up and down while I shrugged. "Want them?" It was a common method for us to just take care of our own regulars, disregarding the tables we're usually assigned to.

"Ya mind?" Kaoru popped a piece of gum into her mouth and started chewing. I shook my head in denial and began walking to a different table. "Bye, Captain," I called out, in spite of not wanting to and only for manners.

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"So, that was unusual." The contemplative bar owner stated to me later, as I was wiping down the bar counter. He watched me with careful, dark eyes. I acknowledged him with a 'hm' and continued working as the bar was closing soon. I knew what he was talking about and didn't wish to speak about it. "You know him?"

The blonde captain. "My parents worked for him," I stated abruptly, not wanting to get into the conversation. Rikuto glanced at me for a moment. He knew I only started working here when I needed the money after my parents' deaths. He was also smart enough to gather that I wanted the conversation to end.

I thought more to myself, though. Secretly, I had seen the captain in here before. I never said anything to him or acknowledged him and he didn't see me. Different waitresses always helped him. Now, I wondered, maybe he never did recognize me. Maybe he did just think I was a girl, too young to work here and felt obligated to say something. My heart fell a little at that.

Why?

"Um, hey," I glanced up to see Kaoru looking down, confused at the tip money in her hand. Her blue eyes gave me a questioning look which wasn't normal of her. She was usually pretty sure of herself. Instead of saying anything, the pretty girl held out a hand with money in it. I just stared at her. "It's for you," She stated. "From the captains' table." Since I wasn't taking it, she laid it down in the counter.

I gaped at the money that sat there in front of me. It was twice as much as the amount of a normal tip. "Kaoru!" I shouted out. "Who left this?" I wanted to know specifically.

Her eyes glanced upward as she thought. "Hm." She muttered. "I found it in Captain Hirako's place with a note to give it to you. So, probably him? He just left if you wanna ask him!"

I don't know why but I suddenly felt angry. I grabbed the money and started jogging to the door. "Miss Itou!" Rikuto called out. "Where are you-?"

"Sorry!" I apologized sincerely, as I raced out of the front door. "I'll make it up!"

I could hear them before I saw them down the right side of the road. It was the giggly green haired girl that I heard. The dark night had already set in with bright stars overhead but the only meaningful lights were the lampposts every so often. I raced down the dark, dirt road after them. It was lucky for me that the girl was so loud.

Houses were dark in the Rukongai district I was in but I continued running forward. I could catch the white haired man's voice that always yelled at the loud girl and turned left in time to see them a few yards in front of me. Captain Hirako was easily noticeable with his long, blonde hair that always swayed when there was a breeze. He was also stumbling around this time. I bared my teeth and shot forward, catching him unaware until the lost second.

He turned in time for me to grab the collar of his uniform with my wrong hand and jerked his head down to my level. "You asshole!" I shrieked out, clenching his clothes harder as my right hand formed into a tighter fist around the money he gave me. I was too angry to realize I lost my composure. I was too angry to say anything else and for a second, I pondered why I was so angry. His eyelids tapered at my close position to him.

In the background, I could hear in the background the same green haired girl screaming about something 'love spat' and her captain yelling, 'Shut up, Mashiro!'. "So," Hirako mumbled and too late, I realized his brown eyes were slightly glazed. He was drunk. Or tipsy, at least. "Is this ya real personality? An angry girl?"

Was I an angry girl? I could still see the pity in his eyes when he left me crying under that tree. I could still see that he pitied me when he left that money for me on the table; money that didn't belong to me. And maybe he didn't realize that I knew but I had seen him before in the bar. He never once saw me or acted like he knew me. Until the one day I was in front of him.

And then he treated me like a child, demanding what? That I give up a job I desperately needed? And like a hypocrite, just left money on a table right after he demand I shouldn't have a waitressing job. Why? Because he thought I was some poor girl working in the wrong place? When he should have known all along I worked there if he had paid attention…

"You're cruel," I managed to spit out, tears beginning to glisten my eyes. The blonde's face swam for a second until I blinked the tears away. Hirako was frowning. He made to move his hand toward my face before I jerked backwards. His hand dropped to his side.

"Kensei…" Mashiro whispered loudly. "I think they're breaking up!" There were more whispers in the background as Hirako intently gazed down at my glaring eyes. Then, it was quiet. I glanced around him to see that his friends had left. Realizing what I had done, I dropped Captain Hirako's uniform as my body became numb.

I nearly attacked a shinigami captain… I could have been prosecuted… And jailed. My face crumpled and the tears came back. This was his damned fault.

"I'm making ya cry again, ain't I?" The blonde mumbled, shaking his head back and forth, rubbing his face. I had to hold back tears as my face dropped into my pale hands and my heart stopped. I tried shaking my head no but had to sniff mucus back from my nose and tears from my eyes. I could hear the man sigh in front of me and the steps forward he took. My body froze as one arm of his wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. This wasn't like the last time I was in his arms. That time I was a child and maybe this time, I was a child in his eyes but not mine. "I don' really think ya angry or mean. I'm sorry."

I couldn't move my arms from between us. I was too afraid. Not because I thought he would hurt me but because in all my years, a man, besides my father, had ever hugged me. "It…It wasn't that," I admitted, barely voicing my thoughts beyond a whisper. But he shifted when I said that so I knew he heard me. "I just… Didn't want your pity. Please, take the money back."

But I couldn't say the truth. I couldn't say that there are very few constant people in my life. Even the waitresses at my job change too much. One was my grandmother. The other Rikuto, my boss and only that. Then, him, Captain Hirako, who had comforted me when he told me my parents died. I couldn't admit that I felt hurt and angry when I thought he had forgotten about me and treated me like some random girl, too young to work.

I heard him mutter an apology into my ear as I squeezed my eyes tighter, shoving my face into his chest. I didn't necessarily want this man in my life. He had seen me cry and I could see the pity in his eyes. But that didn't mean I wanted him to forget me either.

My life has become so meaningless as is.

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He walked me home, even as I refused and demanded he get away from me. I yelled at him to go away even as I had to hold his arm to keep him from stumbling. He walked me home in the dark night even as I hated him for wanting him to remember me when I was nothing to him.

I shut the apartment door behind me and sighed as I leaned into it. When my parents died, I couldn't afford the house anymore and my grandmother and I moved here. I didn't bother to turn on the light as I locked the door to the dark living room/kitchen combo. I had become used to walking around here in the dark when I returned from home. But I jumped when my grandmother's door opened and light escaped to the hallway.

"Junko?" She called out with her cracking voice. Rubbing my eyes with my palm, I walked into her room to find her already settled back into bed. Her arms were tucked under the thin quilt so that only her wrinkled head poked out in her bed. I kneeled to the floor next to her.

"Yes, grandma?" I inquired. She never was up this late but I could see the lines of illness starting to come back on her face. Inside, I slumped a little bit. This would mean more medicine which meant needing more money. I reached my hand up and swept white hair from her face. She winced before opening her pale eyes.

"I'm sorry. I can't stay much longer for you," The once proper woman started a hacking cough as my body began to numb itself. I caught on quickly to her words and began to stop her. "No, listen to me," She demanded in a weakening voice and my face fell into her quilt, trying to hide the coming tears. "I've stayed for you but even I can only hold out so long for death." She paused once more for a coughing fit.

I wanted to persuade her it was just one of her ill fits. I would get medicine and make her better like always. But I knew I could say nothing to this woman who was wiser than me.

My hands gripped her quilt as the tears came. "I love you," I began to moan into her sheets. "Please…"

"Become a shinigami," Grandma interrupted as her hand pulled from her quilt and patted me weakly on the head. "I'm so worried you'll live your life alone. But if you're a shinigami, you'll always be surrounded by people." Her hand fell from my hand. "I love you, daughter."

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I nearly started wailing when I thought she had already passed but I realized she had only fallen asleep. It would be hours later before she died, at least peacefully. But her words haunted me; that even she recognized I would be alone in this world and the fact she called me her daughter, finally admitting she had raised me more than her own children had.

But as she pleaded, I joined the Shinigami Academy. It was her dying request and it never occurred to me until years later that I didn't have to do as she asked because she was already dead.

Before I returned to my grandmother, though, I ran after Captain Hirako in the dark. He was the one who said he would come to find me and visit me. Even if he had to come to my work. That would never happen because I would never show back up. Maybe he came and I never knew. Or maybe it was a lie and I still never knew. It didn't matter. Ironically, I felt like I was running after him again, joining the academy to be a shinigami.

I knew I would probably see him again anyway if I became a shinigami but in a weird way, I didn't want to. I just wanted to fade away and end this cycle of us finding each other, chasing tails.


	3. Awakening Barely

**A/N- I'm trying to tell myself, 'It doesn't matter how many reviews or hits you get!' but all I can really think is 'Gosh, this story must suck'. xP**

Chapter Three: Awakening Barely

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The academy's mess hall was loud with the excited utterances of those who were lucky enough to see the captains coming today, those who complained of not being able to and those who had conversations of something else. I ate quickly with my right hand as I flipped pages of a book next to my food with my other hand. I tried ignoring the discussions around me as I studied further for the exiting exams of the academy later in the week.

Today, there would be captains watching the senior classes in some of their achievements, depending on the particular student's accomplishments. I was to hold a match with another advanced student classmate in a couple hours but I believe I had heard my roommate say that she was going to be examined for her healing kido. Of course, these weren't the exams but they felt even more important since this might get us into a squad or not.

For the first time in a long time, I was…excited.

A tray dropped down in front of me and a person scrambled into the seat. "Junko!" A girl wailed and I glanced up to the blue haired girl, Kuzumi, plop her elbows on the table with a glum face. "Did you hear that Captain Hirako is going to be late and not even bringing his lieutenant?" I glanced up to the girl, best friends with my roommate, at the mention of a particular captain but immediately went back to reading.

"Ah," I uttered, already bored of the conversation. "Lieutenant Aizen?" An image conjured in my head of a polite man with brown hair and glasses.

The girl sighed dreamily. "Yes, I hoped he would see me in my fight today but it appears not. What about you? Aren't you sad?" I stared at her with dull, black eyes but another girl approached the table before I could retort that I cared not. The new girl sat down and mildly asked how Kuzumi and I were doing.

"Oh, Yuriko!" Kuzumi began to complain to the brown haired girl, my roommate, who started eating. "He's not showing up! Can you believe this?" Yuriko had little time to question who she was talking about before Kuzumi went off on a tangent about the 5th Division lieutenant. Yuriko showing up was a good thing, though. She would calm Kuzumi down to a manageable level and made things more bearable.

And I was able to study more kido for the exam tomorrow. Kido was the only thing I was particularly worried about in the exiting exams. My aim was good, remembering the names and words were easy but the actual process of it was a bit harder. I exhaled and rubbed my temples with one of my hands. It will all be over in less than a week, I repeated to myself multiple times. I wasn't actually worried about the exams altogether. I was more worried about which squad I would be put into.

I had already applied for Special Forces, Squad 2 and Squad 13 but that didn't mean they would accept me. Every student had a file that gave information on personality, their strengths, weaknesses and other defining material. I was positive mine stated that I was antisocial and did not get along with most people. Even Yumiko and Kuzumi, we weren't friends because I wanted to be. I got stuck with them when Yuriko became my roommate.

And as much as I hated to admit it but who would want someone in their squad who wasn't good with other people? My grip tightened on my kido textbook as I pursed my lips. I really was good with teamwork, though, for the most part… Just certain people get under my skin and grate me.

"Uh, Junko?" I glanced up at Kuzumi who was staring at me with a strange look in her face. I waited for her to continue. "You're glaring a hole in your book again. Maybe you should try to relax before the exams? You want to look your best for Lieutenant Aizen!" Certain people grate me. Like this girl.

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Multiple fights were going on at the same time. Some partners met with the thud of wooden swords. Others clashed with the sound of grating metal and sparks. Instructors were yelling around, announcing winners and sending the losers of to the nursing unit. People picked themselves off the dirt training areas and were escorted off. Then, two more people would be called and take their place. The matches had only began about an hour ago but more than half of the graduating class were waiting in alphabetical lines for their turn.

The sun blared down on us and I tried discreetly wiping the sweat on my hands to the academy uniform instead. Part heat and part nervousness, I tried to calm my stuttering heart. Multiple lieutenants, captains and seated chairs were on the opposite side of the training grounds. There were too many white haoris and black uniforms to count but I could tell that only one of the captains I had applied for were here. It was easy to tell him apart from everyone else, considering his prestige of being one of the oldest captains. The dark skinned woman of the 2nd squad and Special Forces was nowhere to be seen.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered Kuzumi's words and noticed that neither the 5th squad captain nor the lieutenant were here.

Someone pushed me forward from behind and caused me to stumble closer to one of the instructors looking our way. I sharply glanced at the person behind me, a brown haired man giving me an apologetic look with a shrug of his shoulders. I noticed he had followed behind me. But how dare he push me and be so nonchalant about it!

"I said Itou and Iwai!" The instructor called out with a twinge of curtness in his voice. The unremarkable man was looking down at a clipboard and looked upward, gazing down the front of the rows. The man behind me jerked a hand upward, raising dark eyebrows at me.

"Yeah, yeah!" The student behind me yelled. "We're here!" Oh. I wasn't paying attention and this guy was my opponent. I blushed when I realized other students were looking at us and wanting to know what was the hold up. The instructor pointed us impatiently off to a newly empty area and the man behind me brushed up against me as we started hurrying up for our turn.

This was too soon! I wanted more time to calm down. I at least wanted to know a few minutes that it was my turn instead of suddenly being called out.

"Sorry about the shove," The student, assumedly Iwai, muttered to me as he fingered his zanpakuto handle on his waist. "Didn't want us to get in trouble for waiting." I nodded absentmindedly, grateful now for the seemingly rude gesture at the time.

"Thank you. I appreciate that," I mumbled honestly. We entered the middle of our fighting area and stood a few feet apart, staring at each other. He was taller than me, a foot or so. Thin, sharp features but relaxed. He was either sure of himself or this fight. I was already disadvantaged with his height and confidence.

"Wooden or zanpakuto?" The instructor asked us, waiting off to the side with extra wooden swords for this who wished to us them. He already had them in hand and was pointedly looking at me. My nostrils flared as Iwai glanced at the swords and back at me, realizing the same connection I had made. The instructor assumed as a girl, I would not want to or was unable to use the zanpakuto carried at me side. Unlike the instructor, my opponent could tell my facial features I was not happy.

"Zanpakuto!" We both answered in a loud voice. My opponent looked enthused at my answer while the instructor just looked on, disapproving. The instructor did not interject his own opinions, however, and called out for us to bow at each other. I bet to the ground, waist high, as my dark bangs danced around my eyes. The long, dark hair stayed put in the bun, though. Standing back up, I glanced at the captains I hoped would notice my fight. Captain Shihion was still nowhere to be seen and Captain Ukitake was not watching this area.

Then I would make him look…

With abated silence and a tense atmosphere, we pulled out our swords and gauged each other's zanpakuto. Iwai may have been graduating with me but I didn't know him or his sword. Either he was a younger student graduating early or someone not from the advanced class. Either way, I still didn't feel too sure as I looked upon his sword. It appeared as a normal sword, if you extended the length of the sword by a few inches and thicker by a centimeter or two. More disadvantage with length. Already, I was calculating ways around this to make it an advantage.

_Become a small target that is harder to hit… He is a larger opponent and thus, larger target… Use his longer limbs to trip him up… Be too fast for him by being smaller and quicker…_ Several more ideas popped into my head as my eyes flickered along with my thoughts.

My sword must have startled him as Iwai took a look at it and appeared hesitant for the first time. Like always, I wanted to put it up, to hide my blush about the strange swords and just go on with my life. But everyone's reactions were the same with this sword and by now I should have been used to it. It was the only sword in its existence, or so I've been told, that is one solid color. Unlike the silver steel of other swords, the steel of my zanpakuto was a black matte color that never seemed to have light bounced off of it like metal swords should do.

On the plus side, I could use his surprise as an advantage. For the first time since I arrived at the training grounds today, I felt a small surge of confidence. My black eyes met with my opponent's light eyes, both feeding out our confidence and wariness. The whole situation of staring down each other's swords and opponent lasted mere seconds but felt like several minutes.

"Go!" The instructor called out to us.

We both shot forward, meeting each other close to the halfway mark and a huge clash. My opponent forced his sword upon mine, unrelenting, and with unexpected strength. I surged forward, trying to push my body to keep on the defensive and for his sword to stay away from my body. With our faces close, I gritted my teeth while Iwai easily grinned. He was used to this, I thought; using his height and strength as an advantage.

Suddenly, the young man jumped back, causing me to stagger forward and only barely catch his sword with mine. I held the black sword above my head with both hands, strenuously trying to keep it in place. This time he didn't stay put. Iwai swung continuously at me, pushing me backwards. When our swords met, my sandals lost their grip in the dirt or I was forced to push backwards. The student never lost pace with me for a second or for the first time, I realized I had no hope.

"You realize it now, eh?" The cocky guy called out to me, excitement swirling in his light eyes. "You've lost the second I was paired with you!" I snarled in anger. I hate people who discount me and those who act so cocky. I hate people who are confident and so sure of themselves.

I pushed reiatsu in my feet and pushed myself backward, watching the young man appear to be slower for a second. By the time I landed a few feet away from him, Iwai registered what was happening and shock appeared in his face. "Shunpo?" He questioned with startled eyes. Not deeming him with a response, I appeared to the side of him, leaving him barely any time to block and pushed forward my own resistance. Iwai may have been strong and tall but he did not appear to be able to match my shunpo, albeit not mastered yet.

Sweat poured down my face with the exertion of shunpo and the swings I made at Iwai. I couldn't get close to him with that sword of his and somehow, even with shunpo, he still managed to block, if not attack himself. At one particular clattering of our swords, I realized looking at the hope still in his eyes what was happening. While he may not be able to see me with shunpo always, Iwai could tell where my reiatsu was coming from.

One more strong hit between us. I met him head on, hoping his silver sword would meet my own black blade. With a cascade of sparks, we were both thrown back, our sandals losing friction against the dirt, dark bangs flipping past my eyes. Iwai and I paused for a second, taking in each other's opponents. I gazed at his eyes and saw only excitement and thrill from the fight. A shiver ran down my spine as I wondered if maybe my opponent was a recruiter for Squad 11, the squad known for their love of fighting and blood. It would be my luck.

I grabbed the hilt of the black sword tighter in my hands. If he was this type of person, I would need to end the fight quickly. My own strength was failing by the passing seconds and Squad 11 was known for their endurance. Well, if Iwai was able to keep up with because he could tell where my reiatsu was coming from, then I would just have to hide it from him. That was my specialty anyway and the reason I was a recruiter for Special Forces.

It's hard to explain the scientific technique used by shinigami to perform hiding one's spiritual pressure. But the feeling of it is easier to explain. Hiding one's spiritual pressure was like the feeling of something being bundled up, over and over as it became smaller and smaller. It was like a piece of paper being folded up in half repeatedly until it couldn't fold anymore. Normally, people couldn't fold their reiatsu to nearly nothing but as I said, that was my specialty.

By that time, I was ready and prepared. Iwai was so focused on my body and my ability to throw him back that if he noticed the change in my reiatsu, he revealed nothing to show it in his face. Too late for the young man, I flew forward, knocking him backward with the flat of my zanpakuto. Startled, the brunette threw up his silver blade but by that time, I was to his other side, hitting his shoulder with the dull side of my blade.

Iwai did not relent, even in the beating I was giving him. As I suspected, the man had a terrible endurance. And as a result, I was equally unrelenting.

A whip at the shoulders…

A slash at the wrists…

Flagging my black sword against his arms…

A black blade grating against his silver…

Regardless, the man continued fighting and the only proof that I was wearing him down was the sweat dripping down his temple. Iwai didn't give in. I felt his quick sword against my arms, feeling the sharp pain passing through my nerves more than I was seeing them.

And then, I was behind him, watching him turn too slowly against my quicker, Shunpo, speed. Iwai's blue eyes widened sluggishly as he raised one arm around with an attempt to block me with his zanpakuto. It was too late. I had already crouched to the ground, swinging my own dark blade flat against the back of my opponent's knees, watching him crumple to the ground.

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The silver zanpakuto fell from the man's hands as he fell face first into the burning dirt below us. For the first time since the match began, I felt bad. It must have been humiliating to fall in such a way on a hot day when everyone was watching. But I had already made my choice. I knocked the other sword away from him with my foot and brought the tip of my own dark blade to the back of his head when he had tried moving. Iwai stopped moving and froze with his palms flat on the ground above his head. The ground site felt tense to me as I waited for the man to make a move.

Nothing happened. "Winner, Itou," The overseeing instructor called out, jotting down something on his clipboard. I felt the adrenaline rush out of me as I felt a surge of breathe inside of me, allowing my body to relax. "Move on now. Get to the nursing unit if you need it." I place my black zanpakuto back into the hip guard and wiped sweat from my brow. The man in front of me sighed, picking himself off the ground and wiped dirt off of his blue uniform. However, before he started walking to far, he turned back to me, his brown shaggy hair waving in the hot wind.

"Does my opponent at least get to help me to the nursing squad?" Iwai asked with a cheeky smile. My lips turned to a downward slope before I noticed the welling of blood that was building up on one of his upper arm cuts. I couldn't see his legs underneath his uniform but I could bet his knees were bruised. I had already felt my energy surge from me but I felt bad.

I nodded, agreeing to help the student. Iwai wasn't looking at me, though, anymore. His eyes were looking above my head, which wasn't that hard for him, with a curious look on his face. I felt inclined to follow his face and peer over my own shoulder. And wished I hadn't. I had said that I wanted Captain Ukitake or Captain Shihion to notice me but more seated officers were looking in this area than I had hoped. And Captain Shihion was not there to be one of them. On the other hand, one was a captain with long blonde hair. I jarred my eyes away from the powerful shinigami, trying not to match the gaze of one particular person with brown eyes.

The bane of my existence, more or less.

He wasn't there before! I know he wasn't. There was no way a person could miss such a weird man with long blonde hair. And I knew I would probably see him one day if I became a shinigami. I just figured it would be from far away, that he would never see me or have the time to recognize me. Well, I wasn't sure if he recognized me but he saw me.

I lowered my head to the tan ground and shuffled over to my losing opponent to offer him a shoulder. Our fight had only lasted a few minutes and other fights were still going on. Iwai gratefully looped his left arm around my neck before crossing the training grounds, appearing defeated. I tried hard to use helping Iwai to the nursing squad as an excuse to hide from the taller man. There were two ways to get to the healers from the training area and that was through the thicket of seated officers, lieutenants and captains or all the way around the grounds.

If not for dragging Iwai, the trek around the grounds nearly would have been worth it. But as it were, the student I was helping, pulled me towards the shinigami and I was too exhausted to protest. For someone who supposedly needed help, they were doing a lot of pulling around… The scorched winds stirred my dark bangs and wisps of fallen hair into my face as the tall made and I made our way to the healers. By then, the attention of the seated officers had already made their way to the other students. The ones who did pay attention to use did so only long enough to move from out path and went straight back to watching the training grounds. Iwai steered us to the stone path beyond the grounds.

The man glanced at me from the corners of his eyes as I looked straight ahead to avoid conversation. At this point, my breath had started to catch up but I still felt the pain and tiredness of shunpo-ing too long, "Hey," The tall brunette spoke to me as my eyes followed the younger students walking along, scurrying to their classes. Boys in blue. Girls in red. "I didn't really mean what I said about having no hope against me in the match." My eyebrows furrowed at his words. "I just hoped it would cause you to be upset and lose your concentration.

I shrugged my shoulders against the arm he had swung across them. Iwai cringed a little as I did so. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to hearing trash talking." Well, not really but honestly, his words did get under my skin. It just worked to my advantage. "Sorry, by the way," I muttered under my breath to him, exhaling as I took in the people around us and some of the girls staring as they went past.

"Eh," The young man grinned. "Don't worry about the injuries. They're worth it and make me stronger!" Yup. Definitely squad 11 material. "Plus, it got Captain Kenpachi to look our way." I could recall the tall, dark skinned brute captain staring our way and instantly wanted to shiver.

His way, he meant. I did not care to have that captain to be interested in my in any way. I may have been decent with a zanpakuto but that did not mean I was a fan of fighting. I didn't say anything to my classmate as I continued our path to the healers. Although, Iwai paused suddenly anyway and gazed at me with interest in his blue eyes. I just watched him with dull eyes before I flicked them upwards, to the sun high overhead, waiting for whatever the man had him interested in.

There was one huge, puffy white cloud that nearly looked like a cat in the bright sky…

"I really mean it," Iwai stated. His eyes were intense as I focused on this cat-cloud. It was only a head…with pointed ears sticking out. "I'm not sure he would have looked if you hadn't fought so well." I didn't say anything. I'm not that good with people or words. Perhaps he had expected something because he let out a disappointed breath of air, slipping his arm from my shoulders. "Anyway, I'll let you go. It seems someone else wishes to speak with you." Iwai scrutinized the area behind the two of us. By now, we had reached a more private area of the shinigami academy. We were in the area between the dorms and nursing building, a resting area with penches and tables, obscured by thick trees.

I clenched my teeth, already having recognized the reiatsu. "Nope, trust me, no one wants to stop to speak with me," I tried grabbing the brunette's arm to march him off to a healer. "Come on," I tried saying. The man stayed station and inspected me with a strange look as if I was the strange one.

"No, it's cool," The classmate promised. "You helped me out with my captain. I should help you out with yours." Wrong captain, I wanted to scream. "Maybe I'll see you around." I tried arguing that Iwai needed my help but he shook his head and took off quickly, even with a limp in his step. I watched him take off the stone path in astonishment. He just left me here with _him_.

Of course, I thought to myself, snarling, he would ditch my in the most isolated part of the academy grounds. I refused to turn around and submit myself to the fate I was left with. I snorted to myself in my dramatics. Submit to fate, my ass. Instead, I tried running away, following the blue eyed man who left me.

And proceeded to feel a hand clamp themselves to my shoulder. The hand swung me around in time for me to sneer at the person who stopped me. And of course, I found myself face to face with one of the last captains I wished to see. (Really, he would be the last if Captain Kenpachi didn't frighten me so much). Kuzumi had said the blonde captain was going to be late with his lieutenant but she must have been wrong about the time.

"Captain," I greeted unenthusiastically about the situation. No matter how hard I tried to avoid him, this one always seemed to find me. Oh, why couldn't it have been Captain Shihoin, at least?

"Miss Itou!" Captain Hirako explained with that toothy smirk of his on his face. His shiny teeth could nearly blind a person. "I told you the last time I saw you, I would visit you at that bar you were working at. But when I went to see you, they told me you already quit!"

"Yup," I explained, trying to grin as it only came out to be a twisted frown. "I was trying to run away from you!" My voice changed to a deeper pitch. "Now, leave me alone." Hirako didn't appear bothered or deterred, despite an obviously fake hurt look on him. I briefly wondered if anyone ever fell for his behavior. Kuzumi…Now, Captain Hirako. Why do the annoying people always find me, especially when I'm so worn out? The pressure of Hirako's hand lessened and I realized how close we were; him only a foot away with his hand to keep me put.

"What happened to ya? Ya just took off with warning," He questioned, the brown eyes of his boring into my own. Of course, he was looking down on me as he was inches taller. The sunlight reflected off the shiny green leaves of the tree. My face flushed with how intently he was looking at me and glanced away. "Didn't expect to find ya here. Never thought you were a fan o' shinigami." My parents…Always so plain but hardworking and honest. Their job consumed them.

I closed my eyes. Birds were chirping but they sounded farther away than normal.

"Why didja change your mind?" So many personal questions. What happened to me, why I left and why I'm here. I shrugged the blonde captain's hand off my shoulder and clasped my own pale hands together. I bowed quickly.

"Forgive me, Captain. I have to get studying for my exiting exams," I mumbled to him, staring at the ground where my red uniform met the stone path. A couple beads of sweat dropped to the ground. I was exhausted. This fight had really worn me out. Before he could stop me, I turned and ran, continuing my path to the dorms and nursing squad. My sandals flapped against the rough surface before Captain Hirako called out to me, his hand catching a thin wrist. "Wait!" He spoke.

My heart jumped as I was jerked backward, spinning to find my face plopping into his chest. I was mortified, though, I should have realized he would stop me. He was the stronger of us, after all.

Two hands laid themselves on my shoulders, holding me back so the man could look me in the eyes. His brown eyes examined my own frightened black eyes. Why couldn't he ever just leave me alone? What did I do to deserve this meddlesome attention? "Join my squad," Hirako stated.

I stared at him in horror. The wind was blowing, causing our clothes and hair to glide along with it, but it could do nothing to cool down how hot the sun and prior fight had made me. I shouldn't have forced myself too much. I should have known better than to use shunpo so much on that fight. What's the point of showing it off in front of others if I come close to fainting afterward?

I opened my eyes, not realizing I had shut them. Hirako was standing there, lips moving, as he looked upon me with shame and sadness. But I couldn't hear him, a buzzing noise had filled my ears. The wind was blowing me. No, I was swaying. His expression turned to that one of concern. Black edges were in my vision. I closed my eyes to try to block it out. Why does he always pretend to care about a girl he doesn't know?

Leave me alone…

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At first, I didn't know where I was when I came to. I definitely wasn't in the dorms with Yuriko. This bed was too white with bleached sheets shutting the bed I was resting in from the rest of the room. I could only tell it was the nurse's squad because it seemed like a typical scene one would expect for nursing barracks; clean, sanitized and inhuman.

No one waited in the two chairs next to my bed. Not Captain Hirako who surely brought me here but had no reason to stay for me, not Yuriko who was smarter than most and recognized I only bore her company as a roommate. Not Kuzumi who flitted around with so many people, she'd never know I was gone. My glazed on fixated on a crack in the white ceiling. This is what I wanted. So, why did I feel so… I didn't know how to describe what I was feeling. I don't think it was happiness, either.

But what I can do is become so strong that no person should ever see me so weak as I have been.

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**A/N: The words Hirako tried saying to Junko were pretty important. xD But I like making Junko wonder why Hirako bothers her.**


	4. Anticlimax

Chapter Four: Anticlimax

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There laid a bleached parchment of paper on an old wooden desk. It stood out amongst the organized textbooks, tidy notes with small steady handwriting and an array of writing utensils. The paper with its own masculine, tidy scripture stood in contrast to the crumpled state of the parchment. It looked as if someone had smashed it in a ball, rethought their actions and tried smoothing it back out. It was out of place amongst the otherwise perfected look of the room. No one was around to claim the piece of paper and no person was to stop the written words.

_To Junko Itou,_

_By the decree of the Thirteen Guard Court Squad, the shinigami known as Junko Itou will henceforth begin duties as the fourteenth seat of the Fifth Squad, under command of Captain Shinji Hirako…_

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A voice droned on in the amphitheater, masculine and droll, threatening to put any attendee to sleep. Rows of the newly graduating shinigami stood with their straight backs proud, their faces pointed to the forward if a raised stage in interest. Whether fake or real, only the individual could have said. The guests of honor, multiple captains and lieutenants to the captains who could not attend, stood behind the academy speakers.

Each seated officer appeared with great prestige, many sported expressions of interest, such as the elderly 6th Squad captain of the Kuchiki clan or others with feigned expressions of interest only lightly hiding boredom. One made little attempt to hide disinterest, preferring to make faces down the row of lieutenants and captains. Every time the blonde made another face, the more laidback shinigami students were forced to stifle their chuckles. I personally stiffened up more at each new face.

Standing there with a grim expression on my face, I wondered the type of life I might lead now. Once, I had dreamed of fighting underneath the honorable and respected captains of the 2nd or 13th Squads. They had been my roles models when I became an orphaned girl of the Rukongai. Instead of these two captains, I was under that… Captain Hirako stuck his tongue out at the glaring blonde lieutenant… that thing.

It was one of my last choices, second to last to be specific. No matter how rude or obnoxious Captain Hirako seemed to be, her was better than any division led by the brute Kenpachi. Yes, that's what I'll say to myself. It is not my choice to be in the 5th Squad but there are worse…one squad that is worse. I hope. Would I prefer to have a childish captain or the blood craved captain? As the speaker told the story of the foundation of the academy, my blood stilled. Yes, even the blonde was a better captain.

People were clapping. Had I missed something? I tried clapping along, two white hands softly hitting their palms together as I searched among the sea of students, hoping for a clue.

"And so, we come to an end. You have each dedicated several years of hard work to become the shinigami you are today. But it does not stop here. We have guided you through your school but as of today, your strength and hard work lies with your own self. Honor yourself. Honor your captain. And honor the Thirteen Guard Court Squad," The revered speaker admonished into the large crowd of shinigami.

We repeated the words as was expected of us, earnestly believing the words coming from our mouths. Honor ourselves. Honor our captain. And honor the Thirteen Guard Court Squad.

A dark thought flitted through my mind. Who would be dead soon as a result of their dedication to their squad? Who would become known as the person who ran away from death rather than fight to the end? Who would take the words back? But I had no time to ponder such thoughts. People wearing their black uniforms, as compared to the red and blue ones for school we just let go of, were heading out of the doors. They spent a few minutes congratulating one another, spending time to celebrate and if they were lucky, heading out with families they had.

An old memory stuck out.

A pretty but hardened woman kneeled on the floor in prayer next to a plainer, dark haired man. A little girl and frail old woman sat behind them in the same manner, a more interesting combination that the couple before them. Off to the side of the quiet scene was a window with snow crusted outside, flames inside flickering.

Dizziness rushed through my head and I felt light headed. No, I told myself. Don't think about it. If I don't think about it, then it won't hurt. The sea of black and white shihakushō swept past me, rushing me along like a river current, and I stumbled along after the crowd. I soak in the moment; no pain, no happiness, just existing. And that is how I choose to live.

Laughter and footsteps echoed through the halls of the academy but considering my medium pace, many stepped around me and walked passed. I glanced around to the blank walls as I made my way and wondered if I should feel something, sadness leaving a place I lived for the past few years. No, life as a shinigami would likely feel similar to that of a-

I bumped into someone.

Not hard enough to fall but not softly enough to go unrecognized. My eyes brushed from the wall to the shinigami in front of me who paused just as I could feel the heat rising to my face. I muttered an apology, doing my best to step around them. I was better than this when it came to noticing people's locations. Sweeping by with bangs in my eyes (they were too long again), I noticed a lieutenant's badge glittering on the sleeve on the man. How embarrassing… I call myself a shinigami?

"Ah, Miss Itou," A soft voice called out behind me. It was not one I recognized but I knew it came from the man I stepped into. I took a couple seconds to compose my face before turning around, wondering how my name was known. The genial smile, brunette hair and rectangle glasses gave it away immediately. It was all I could do to bow and apologize again, silently cursing my absentmindedness.

"Forgive me, Lieutenant Aizen," I acknowledged him, knowing my bumping into him must be the reason he stopped me. A lieutenant deserves better treatment. The man's smile only turned to something forgiving as I made my way to bow to him, staring at the splintered wooden floor and my tabi covered feet above it. "I should have watched where I was going however, that is no excuse." Aizen was still standing with straight composure as I stood up, waiting for him to give me permission to leave.

"This is quite alright, Miss Itou. I actually stopped you for other reasons," The amiable man admitted only furthering to wipe my face of emotions in confusion. His elbows were folded in a way that his hands hid beneath the openings of the sleeves. "You seemed rather distracted during the ceremony and I wished to see how the new 14th seat of my squad was doing." I froze in horror, realizing my improper conduct had been noticed and was too distracted to realize this meant the lieutenant had noticed _me_ personally.

My perfect composer was lost. "W-what? Lieutenant, I never…I mean…" I was at a loss of what to say, stuttering on the words choking in my mouth. Hot and cold were equally present in my body, chilling and burning me. Think. The reason composure is lost is because a person is too upset to think straight. Take a breath. Let your face loosen into nothingness. "I am sorry for the disrespect I caused the squad. I was rather distracted and my conduct at the ceremony will not reflect my work in the squad." There, better. Relief flooded through me. I stood up tall.

Aizen's smile slipped into a small frown and it occurred to me that I was not saying the right words. "It seems I am the one who needs to apologize," He seemed to reprimand. To myself or his self, I was unsure. "My comment was not meant to chide but one of genuine concern. I realize now that it must be hard for you to be in the same squad as your parents were in." He remembered. My parents, myself; I wasn't sure which but he remembered something. And my body remembered not to immediately tense but to relax upon his words. I hadn't realized I took too long thinking of how to reply until the lieutenant spoke again.

The man continued on. "There are many reasons for a shinigami to be placed on a certain squad but I hope you have no qualms for this squad," The brunette's frown had already turned to a small smile, quite like the one he often wore. "After all, the captain specifically asked for you and I look forward to understanding his interest in you."

I should have put more notice in the last part of what he said and the curious words he said. Instead, I focused on something else he said.

By now, most of the crowd had dispersed and those who straggled stay far away from the lieutenant. From respect, awe or fear, I did not know.

"Captain Hirako asked for me?" I queried, having been struck dumb and giving an honest, surprised face. I had understood that I had been a difficult match to place within the squads after I passed the entrance exams. The reasoning on the reports stated I did not work well with other people and I thought perhaps I had misunderstood Lieutenant Aizen. But there was no misunderstanding between us. Aizen's soft brown eyes showed as much confusion as mine.

Aizen questioned, "Were you not aware of this?" Of course, I was not. It was uncommon for captains to request specific students unless it was for one of the higher officials, like Lieutenant Aizen who was rumored to have been asked by Captain Hirako. But a 14th seat was nothing compared to those officers. I shook my head, too… What was I? Stunned? At a loss of words? "Were you not curious for the reason of your squad placement?"

"No." The utterance came as a shock to me and the gentleman before me but I knew that it was true. I smiled apologetically. "I don't wish to be rude, sir. The truth is, however, that I am just grateful to be put in a squad of the Gotei 13." The man before me gave a soft smile with a noncommittal response. "Now, if you would excuse me, Lieutenant Aizen, I must get going."

Lieutenant nodded his head and said, "Of course, Miss Itou. If you ever have any troubles, though, you can always come to me. Have a good day." I began to turn around with the intention to walk away. "But watch-"

Instead, the halls of the academy echoed with a terrible scream.

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"Captain Hirako," I grounded my teeth to keep my calm and my face flourished a bright red color. I glared at the blonde man with the imprint of a shoe on his face only a few inches from my face. _'He is your captain. He is your captain. You must respect him now.' _His shoulders were slumped over and he looked annoyed. "Please excuse me but you seem to be in my way." Alright, so I could have walked around him but I was too pissed at my captain standing behind me. Who knew how long the creep was behind me? And Lieutenant Aizen could have warned me sooner.

The captain ignored me. "Come on, Sousuke. Let's get goin'," He grumbled before grabbing the lieutenant's sleeve and yanking him past me. Aizen's smile just stay on his face, light reflecting in his glasses as he was whisked away by the childish captain. If only I had Aizen's patience. But I did not. I growled at being humiliated and then ignored by Hirako before stomping off myself.

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The sky was blue, the clouds were plump white puffs and the wind was warm. The green leaves and tall grasses fluttered in the wind but I was too annoyed to appreciate the academy's grounds as I left for the last time. I missed the jealousy in the eyes of students still being taught at the sight of my shihakushō. I didn't really say goodbye to a place that was never my home. I just walked off to the squad barracks that might perhaps become my home.

The grasses become dirt, though, and trees replaced by buildings from different squads. Shinigami went by with different intentions, experience and soon; it was hard to tell who had just graduated and who had experience. Some shinigami had tattoos, some were women, some looked young or old but I did not see familiar faces. The buildings that started to come forth were familiar, though. It was like walking into an old dream and few things had changed.

If only I could paint a picture of the elaborate gates into the Gotei 13, the laughter, the smell of cigarettes, sake and sweat and the ringing of two zanpakuto meeting. And then it was there. The main barracks stood long and thick, filled with many of the officers and unseated shinigami from Squad 5. The building was short compared to the tall Central 46 building far off in the horizon but the red plated roof glaringly caught anyone's attention. It was then that some shinigami glanced at me, their eyes questioning. Whether it was who I was or what position I would now be taking as a new recruit, I would never ask.

Rather, I ignored them as I woke myself through the building's hallways and up a staircase until I came to the one that read 1402. One of the rooms designated for the 14th seat of Squad 5. My hand hesitated around the door knob. _'Open? Knock? Open or knock?' _This was my room now, as well, and I had already entered yesterday to place my stuff inside. No one had been inside at the time. Knock, then open, I decided. So, with a sharp rap on the door, I opened the door to my new future.

A tall, mousy haired girl stood stick straight in front of the bed holding all my things with a stricken look on her face. Her head turned slowly, as if a crank were moving it, until she finally looked down at me. Her brown eyes were wide with terror and suddenly, the girl, it was too hard to call her a woman, fell to the ground, curling to a fetal position. Black bangs brushed in my eyes as I tilted my head.

The girl whimpered as footsteps came close to her before she began crying out, "Oh, please don't hurt me! I know the rumors about you but I promise to keep out of your way!" This girl was crazy, I determined as I held a hand out to her.

"I don't know what rumors you mean," I spoke flatly. "But I hope as my supervisor, I will learn much of you. You may call me Itou, 14th seat as of today." The girl peeked a big eye open and saw my open hand outstretched to help her. "Please guide me until I learn my duties as the third 14th seat in Squad Five." I waited five seconds before a large hand touched mine and I pulled the superior 14th seat up. She was laughing awkwardly and brushing dirt off of her shihakushō by that point.

"Oh, haha! I'm Moe Moriko. Call me Moe or Moriko, even Mori but not Ko. That's nearly a fish," Her voice was naturally girlish, I realized, even when she wasn't screaming. "And as your, eh," The girl glanced away. "Commanding 14th seat, then, your first order of business is to disregard that, uh, what you saw." A childlike request but I nodded just the same. Then, Moriko looked at me and I her. She wasn't so much like a child when she stood. Perhaps, it was just her eyes and voice but not her body. I waited for her response as she stared me down. Then, she sweat dropped. "You kinda look like a little girl. You're so tiny!"

A clenched grin was on my face before I knew it. Tiny…tiny…tiny… Ringing in my ears. Living in the Rukongai in my youth really took away some proper nutrition for me. I never hit five foot and my metabolism was used to being fast to absorb the rare nutrients as fast as possible. Moriko coughed.

"Anyway, welcome to Squad 5!" She exclaimed, raising long arms that nearly touched the ceiling, an awkward, wide grin on her face. Moriko's obvious side of the room was cluttered and messy. Mine only had 3 small bags of items on my bed, plus a pillow.

It was a very anticlimactic moment.

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"This is the 14th Seats major project right now," Moriko pointed out the five large filing cabinets with papers crammed between the drawers. She had to speak up to be heard over the chaotic mess of the other seated shinigami in the room working at their desks. Three desks were pushed near the edge of the room, standing close to the cabinets. A hefty man with cropped black hair sat at one of the desks, scribbling away in one of the folders. "We do a lot of paperwork. Right now, we're organizing the plus 200 shinigami in our squad to determine strengths and weakness. Kidou included."

One shinigami pushed past me, causing me to stumble a couple steps forward as he yelled an apology. "That seems like quite a lot of work," I muttered, eyeing the cabinets. The burly man in front of us raised his dark eyes and held a hand in silent acknowledgement before going back to work.

Moriko pursed her lips before stepping into the desk in the middle. That left the one of the edge, the barest, mine, I supposed. I took a hesitated seat. "It is," She agreed, reaching into her desk and pulling a folder. "That's primarily why you were brought on. Eita," The man next to us gave me a nod in introduction, "and I are behind. Adding to this project, we also help with payment of the shinigami, expenses of the squad and other paperwork that captain wants us to do." A folder was thrown on my lap. "It isn't hard. We heard you're a good categorizer."

I didn't realize how disheartened I was to not have a more physical task until I opened up the folder. An image of a bland, brown haired man was paper clipped to the front of the thick wad of papers.

"Oh!" The mousy haired girl exclaimed. "Don't look too down! Our job doesn't seem like it's important but it is. The squad wouldn't run as smoothly without us. And sometimes, Captain Hirako asks us personally to help him with the paperwork! Can you imagine? A captain asking for our help!" The conversation was only making it worse. "Okay, sometimes it's annoying but…um-"

"No," I denied. "It's really great. I hope that I am a great asset to you both." I gave a small smile and turned to the folder in front, flipping past the first page with the generic name-age-status information to see that there were messy notes, likely from Eita or Moriko, written while some were typed reports about or by the shinigami himself. I started skimming through the pages before I turned back to the girl. "How should I make my notes?"

The girl looked up dazed from her papers, "Um wha?"

"Give her the criteria list," The hefty man grumbled beside of her. He was so quiet it was hard to remember he was there. Moriko hit her head with her first.

"Whoopsie! That is pretty important!" She tittered in her laughing and proceeded to give me a stack of papers, copies of one another. Glancing at them, I realized I was to order all the shinigami in different categories, one through five, each page front and back. "It takes a while," Moriko explained. "There's so much to look over. Sometimes, there isn't enough information and we have to speak with the individual. Just place each finished paper in the front of the chart."

In the end, it did seem fairly easy but very time consuming. We had to read the charts, determine a person's strength by the notes. If there wasn't knowledge of something, I'd write that and move on. But most were easy for physical attributes. _Manabu used his shikai to decimate the hollow… Shou encountered a hollow and restrained it with Kidou 52… _

Moriko was right. You had to be meticulous to do this job. If only so the names and actions of each shinigami did not start blurring together. My eyes would burn every so often when I stared too long at the words. I'd rub my eyes with my palms and go straight back to work. If I had questions, I asked and Moriko, or Eita if she was preoccupied, answered. The monotony was a bore and completely welcomed.

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**A/N: Oh, goodness. I didn't expect these past couple months to be so busy. I'm sorry if the story seems slow. But first!**

**1. There will be times when the chapters will focus on Itou more than anything but later, it's going to be very Shinji based.**

**2. There's going to be a lot of OC people, mainly because many of the Bleach characters are too young to show up yet. As the story progresses, I plan to bring more familiar faces.**

**3. Honesty time: Do I give good descriptions-thoughts-dialogue ratios? Good descriptions in general? I feel like I do horrible.**

**4. I don't grammar check. I know, I know. I figure if you know what I mean, good enough for the tiny stuff.**

**5. Thanks for reading. ;D**


	5. Bitter Mourning

**AH! I know, I know! Where have I been? So, I moved abroad, live with my boyfriend and trying to teach a real job. I've been super busy and without internet off and on. So, here is it at last!**

Chapter Five: Bitter Mourning

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There once was a little girl obsessed with the sun. Her world was small but happy and she thought the sun rose for her. She would dream of reuniting the sun and the moon in eternal peace. She lived for and in the sunlight until suddenly, her world darkened. And as such, she embraced the darkness as if it was the only way to live on.

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**Wake up.**

The color of my eyelids started burning red as rays of white light filtered through the curtained window. It was too early, I knew, considering the fitful night I had. Strange dreams tormented me that night and had made me feel restless. But I knew I needed to get up and start a productive day. Stifling a yawn, I pushed back the white blanket with one hand and black strands of hair with the other. It was still early, I knew, as the room was dark except where the rising sun had escaped into the room. Moriko was still asleep in her cot, a pile of limbs under the ball of covers.

Disregarding the sleeping senior 14th seat, I started stripping the worn yukata off to replace it with the more proper shihakushō. I tried not to look into the mirror that Moriko, or perhaps a previous roommate, had left hanging on the wall. It would only serve as a reminder to my small stature that made muscle building and training such an exertion. And to my greatest embarrassment, I was still a female and even I could not pretend my, my face burned at these naïve thoughts, small chest did little for my features.

No, ignore such frivolous thoughts. I was a shinigami now, protector of souls. Appearance meant nothing to us. I did not need a mirror to know that the black only made my skin look more pallid and that the shihakushō nearly swallowed my body whole. But vanity was unnecessary to a shinigami. The only vanity I needed was this, I thought, as I picked up the black zanpakuto resting on a shelf on my desk. The obsidian hilt was so dark and diamond cut but not even this blade would glitter in the rising sunlight. This blade, I decided, would be my pride and beauty.

I placed the hilt inside the sheath upon my back and quietly left the other 14th seat to sleep, tying my hair into a knot at my neck.

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**Work out.**

"Hello, Eita," I called out to the man who was already out on the training grounds, his upper torso uncovered while he pressed his body upward to the bar he clung to. I gazed at the bulge of muscles on his arms that trembled as Eita grunted out as an affirmation of acknowledgement. I had to resist the temptation I had to measure my biceps by placing my fingers around them. (Eita's fingers would have needed two sets of hands. I'm lucky enough that my biceps were just barely too large for one of my own small hands).

Across the large training grounds, others, mostly the men, were training. There were just a few, considering the early hour, and many of them spent time by themselves as they did their own exercises. I stayed close to Eita. It was just a little past him on the dirt of the training grounds that I began my own training. Hands pressed flatly against the ground, body level, I lowered my body to the ground. My small nose touched a blade of grass poking through the dirt and I raised myself up. One. With ease, I relaxed my elbows to bring myself down again until my arms straightened. Two.

Over beside me, I could hear Eita's breathing turn harsher as his arms started to wear out. My body rose again. Three. The cool morning air was beginning to warm up as the sun was creeping over the horizon to the east. Four. Black bangs brushed against the soft ground and then drifted away. Five.

My mind was drifting as my push-ups became second nature to me. Up and down. Down, then up. It was later that drips of sweat started to plop down, wetting the light brown ground. Later than that, my own body started to struggle under my weight, biceps quivering under the black and white clothes. Even later than that, I was gritting my teeth as I struggled to get back up. You've done this before, I told myself, this is nothing. Do it! My fingers clenched at dirt as I rose back up. One hundred fifty-six. Lowering myself into the ground was easier and just as I was to pull up into one hundred fifty-seven…

"MORNIN' EVERYONE!" A voice rang out loud across the training grounds as I dropped down into the surprisingly hard ground in shock.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow! My nose!" Tears sprang into my eyes as I clutched my pained nose while I stayed curled on the ground.

"YOUR HEARTTHROB CAPTAIN OF SQUAD FIVE HAS ARRIVED!" The same voice yelled out to the nearly empty training grounds. Of course! My dumbass blonde captain, Shinji Hirako. How I hate him sometimes. "Eh, whatcha doin' on that ground fer?" I froze, hoping he wasn't talk to me. I closed my eyes. _You can't see me. You can't see me. You can't see me._ Seconds passed. A minute.

Or maybe time just seemed to go by really slow. One way to tell. I peeked one dark eye open.

"What do you think you are doing?!" I screamed in protest, backing away from the brown eyes that were way too close to me. I held my hands to my chest in horror as I started at the squatting captain now two feet from me. As compared to the two inches from before. "And who the hell decided YOU'RE the heartthrob captain?" I touched my nose again once I noticed I had trouble breathing when I hit the ground and felt wetness this time. "And you made my nose bleed!"

Captain Hirako gave me a blank look then looked away while his front lip was pulled up to show his teeth. "My first love," He answered my questioned blandly. I gave him a look and knotted my eyebrows together. There is no way that this man thinks anyone would believe him when he said that. I was on the verge of pointing this out when Hirako spoke again. He glanced back at me again before pointing at me, "Ya got some snot running outta yer nose, kid." He rose.

I had never been so aghast in my life. It was all I could do to throw my hands over my nose and not beat the annoying captain to death. Instead, I flushed as I tried to discreetly wipe my nose with the cloth over my hand. Even this was his fault. My sinuses must have been knocked out of sense when he caused me to fall to the ground. I couldn't hold back glaring at him as I stumbled back to a standing position, though.

"Anyway," The blonde commented as I was trying calm myself as to get my red face to its normal pallid face. "I wanna judge yer strength for myself so I wantcha to fight me."

I gaped at Captain Hirako. "Captain, I can't! That's so- No! It's inappropriate!" I stammered along, trying to explain why I was unable to fight them man. I bowed. In the academy, we were trained to always respect our captains and never lay a hand on them. "Please, I couldn't." The blonde shrugged at me.

"Ya prefer Sousuke, then?" He questioned flippantly as he pointed behind himself. It was the first time that I noticed the genial lieutenant standing a way behind the captain with a small smile on his face. Lieutenant Aizen had a clipboard in his hand and his gaze was upon both Hirako and I. "Most girls do anyway. He's a pretty boy. Sousuke, wouldja mind?" It was then that I started choking on my own.

"Of course not, Captain. But please do refrain from referring to me as such," Aizen spoke as he fixed his glasses on his nose. "Miss Itou, many of our squad shinigami go through this process." And good for them. "Would you please?" The brunette drew his arm over to point at one of the match areas but all I could do was cough and wave my arms in protest. Suddenly, my shoulders were stinging from a slap the captain laid on me, dislodging the spit in my throat.

I begged, "Please, Captain Hirako," as he threw a tanned arm around me to bring me over to the match area. I dug my heels into the ground. "I am much too far below your league, and Lieutenant Aizen's as well, to even try to a match, even a mock one!" The more Hirako tried to push me, the more resistant I became. By that time, his hands were on both my shoulder as he shoved me towards the dirt arena.

The blonde started to sound aggravated. "Come on! It ain't gonna be that bad," Captain Hirako tried promising. "He's too kind to beat ya up. But if ya manage to bruise his pretty face, I'll give ya a prize." My heels were creating two lines in the dirt but I was too stubborn to actually move myself. It was around this time I found myself wishing for Eita's large muscles. "What's yer problem? Pull that stick outta yer ass. We just wanna see how strong ya are."

My problem? Embarrassing myself in front of my (albeit, annoying) captain and lieutenant. If only it was something not strength based and I would have done it. "A race!" I gasped, having an epiphany. "Eh?" Hirako made a noncommittal noise. "If you want to see my best strength, then it's a race you should see!"

I was already falling backwards before I realized that the captain's tanned hands had been removed from my shoulders, though I had still been pushing backward. A squeak escaped from my mouth. But just like how suddenly I had fallen, strong hands had reached down to my hips and righted me, as if I weighed nothing. Such an intimate touch had silenced me though Captain Hirako acted as if he did no such thing. That or he had less regard of personal space than I did.

Rather, "A race you say?" He questioned me as I nodded. "With me?" Particularly not but I was not going to complain with specifics. Instead, I consented to his terms. "Guess yer off the hook, Sousuke. Ya don't know how fast I am, though, Itou. And if I catcha, you fight anyway."

"You don't know how well I hide," I quipped back, quietly agreeing to his terms. Something flickered in the captain's brown eyes. "Whoever catches the other first, wins," I stated, edging backwards from the man who now stood in front of me. In the morning breeze, his long blonde hair and captain's haori fluttered beyond him. "But I get a head start. Five minutes." That was my demand and I saw the quizzical look in Hirako's eyes before he agreed. By that time, I was already running halfway back to the barracks I came from.

"Squad only!" His voice rang out behind me.

I slid around to the dark space between two of the barracks in an attempt to find a hiding spot, feet stomping on small rocks and grass in my way. It was here that I initiated the process to fold my reiatsu over and over. By the time I ran out from between the space into one of the courtyards, I was already gone. Great, I thought to myself. The courtyard held no hiding place as not even I was thin enough to hide behind small trunks of trees. I sped up to get past the open area before running in the shadow of another building.

More people were waking up as the sun was slowly rising higher but few shinigami paid me much attention.

Where to go, I pondered to myself, as my head start began to tick down. My barracks or office building would be too easy of a hiding place. And sure, I could keep running but at the cost of precious energy. No, I'd have to hide somewhere unexpected. The problem was, I didn't know many places around the squad. What did I know for sure?

The wash areas. (Males were not allowed and that was sort of a mean hiding place for the captain).

The kitchens. (Possible but many people around).

The captain's office. (Not allowed).

My office. (Too obvious).

My bedroom. (Too obvious).

Training grounds. (Straight back to Hirako).

Where would he least expect me? Well, obviously right next to him but not even I could sneak next to him when he was still in the open training grounds.

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**Work.**

A couple hours had already passed by the time Moriko dragged herself out of body, slumping into her desk next to me. Three shinigami folders were stacked to my left, awaiting approval by the girl who just arrived. Even Eita had already returned from working out before her and was scratching away at someone's file. Even three-fourths of the occupants of this office had arrived. "Good morning, Moriko," I called out to the girl who was trying to dredge up the energy to pull shinigami files from her lower drawer for her to analyze. The mousy girl yawned. "Did you sleep well?"

Moriko froze before slowly turning toward me with wide eyes. "Eita," She whispered to the bulky man with her eyes directly on my own dark ones. The man ignored the girl with skewed light brown hair. She spoke louder. "Eita. Eita!" Eita merely grunted at her in response. "EITA!" Eita and half the officers in the room glanced at us. She was laughing in an awkward, high pitched laugh before waving everyone on. I sighed before going back to work. Moriko was starting her dramatics early today. Scowling, I went back to work.

"What is it?" Eita grumbled under his breath. It was hard to tell if Eita ever got tired of Moriko's antics. The man with cropped hair kept quiet and his opinions stayed to himself. The two were nearly direct opposites of each other in this regard.

Moriko went back to whispering as if I could hear none of what she was saying. "Something is wrong with Junko," I held back my irritation of her speaking so familiarly of me. "She…. She asked how I slept. She said- She said good morning! What happened to her? Whatever it is," I could see her glance at me with a glint in her eyes. "I like it. Come on, you guys train together. What happened? Breakfast was good today? Did she kill someone? She doesn't have a crush on you, does she?"

With those last two, I glared at her quickly. She snapped her face away, all the while whistling as if she had no clue she knew I was hearing everything before I turned away, giving Moriko once last suspicious look. Moriko went straight back to whispering more quietly to Eita.

I went back to work. Now, I thought to the man's whose profile chart I was examining, the man could perform shikai with his zanpakuto but his actual physical endurance was low. Shikai abilities usually put people on a higher zanpakuto score but this specific shikai dealt with physical attacks. Subconsciously, I was biting my lip. The man's zanpakuto score was closer four easily. The problem was figuring out his physical score. Strength wise, two probably but did having a shikai based on strength affect his fighting positively or negatively.

"EH?! You don't think it's possible Junko has a crush on you, do you?" A high pitched voice shrieked next to me and giggles erupted around the room. A chair screeched backwards. I clenched my papers out of angry before I stared at the other 14th seat, just in time to see others looking between and me. My face turned red. The folder slammed back on the table. That was the last straw.

"Moriko, if you would stop your idle nonsense, some of us have jobs we need to do and you are just being an annoyance. So do me a favor and shut it." The mousy girl turned back around and looked up at me with wide, guilt eyes. Her mouth gaped, shut close, gaped again. The room had turned quiet. I didn't realize I had stood up until I was staring at the top of her messy head. Was water filling her eyes? I felt hesitant. "Don't you have to get everyone's pay ready for tomorrow?" I reminded, more than asked.

Moriko snapped into a straight sitting position, breaking the moment. "No, it can't be. Today's the 5th." I took her cue and felt with my hand for my wooden chair. Finding it, I sat down and scooted back to the desk.

"Exactly. Thursday the 5th. Tomorrow is the first Friday of the month."

She didn't look at me but past me, eyes filling with dread. "No… Today is Wednesday the 5th." Sighing, I bent my head until it was resting on the desk.

"That was last month, Moriko." Eita muttered, having ignored the conversation until now. With intensity, Moriko flew from her chair, cluttering as it fell to the ground, and papers fluttered around as she tore at her desk, all the while repeating, "No, no, no, no, no! Not again! No, no, no, no, no!" And then, she was speeding from the room, leaving a gap where she once sat. Eita and I looked at each other with our equally dark eyes. I always felt uncomfortable from being able to read them.

"I don't have any romantic ideas of us," I blurted out, now that Moriko was gone.

Eita just shrugged his shoulders before responding, "I know." Except he was still looking this way. I fidgeted in my seat, feeling like a child in an oversized shihakushō. Actually, I felt like I was a small child being chided by her parents again. "I was being honest." I started to say, justifying my words to Moriko. Eita yawned, scratched his head and went back to the papers on his desk. "She was disrupting my work." I continued. "And the things she was saying, people could hear!" The black haired man glanced at me. "Eita, you can't make me feel bad about this!

Although, I was already feeling embarrassed of the way I had acted. I really didn't need to overreact. "Damn it, Eita!" I slumped back down into my chair, leaning back with my arms crossed, sulking in my shame. Now I felt bad. I hate feeling bad, I thought, tapping my fingers against my upper arms. Tears are worse. I can't stand watching someone cry. Above all, apologizing is the worst.

A scrawny young shinigami scrambled up to the front of the 14th seats desks. "A-are you the f-fourteenth s-seats?" He stammered, glancing between me and Eita. Eita placed his pen down whereas I glowered at the black haired boy as we waited for the boy to speak. "I ne-cough-Mori-cough-I mean-" The boy choked on his words and tongue.

"Speak up or leave," I snapped, already in a foul mood. The boy's blue eyes widened before he looked down at the front of his pants, a small circle widening as the pants became damp. Now, the young male looked down at himself petrified. "T-the captain needs to see one of you right now. Please excuse me."

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**Doing the Captain's Work**

My arms were crossed as I pouted, walking to the captain's office where we were needed. Usually, Moriko takes this job when Captain Hirako needs help filling his paperwork out but she had vanished to figure out the paychecks for this month. And the way Eita was staring at me, making me feel guilty… My stomach squirmed. I volunteered to go to work for the captain to get Eita off my back. Of course, this would mean dealing with the captain. Other shinigami walking past me took one look at me and put a six foot radius between us, making me feel worse. People act like I'm some rabid monster.

The abundance of people increased as I walked to the captain's office, individuals becoming large crowds of people. These people were unfamiliar to me, although they were Squad 5 shinigami, rushing with purpose. When I reached the double doors to the office, I could hear scratching rackets behind the doors causing me to wince. Black bangs itched my eyes. I really needed to cut my hair. Instead, I knocked on the thick doors to no avail. Whatever was causing that disturbance was too loud for the captain to hear the door.

Rolling my eyes, I pushed the door open to see the blonde captain's feet on his desk, eyes closed and noise filling the air from some unknown source. The window behind him was open wide. Maybe the noise was from outside. Plugging my forefingers in my ears, I made my way to the man's desk and kicked it, causing the man to jump up with a scowl. His brown eyes stared accusingly at me as he mouthed, 'Why'dja do that?' I squinted my eyes to read his lips. Or maybe he was really talking and I just couldn't hear him. I tried yelling, "Make that noise stop," but I have no clue if he heard me.

A gust of wind blew Captain Hirako's haori around while he walked to a thin table holding a strange device. I followed him out of curiosity, watching this black circle spin around and around and around and around so fast. I started to get dizzy but I wanted to investigate the contraption more. The nape of my neck where my bun was held felt heavy, however, and there were suddenly two captains. I looked up at him while he lifted up something pressing against the black circle. There was a cringing screech and the clamor quieted. The two annoying captains spoke simultaneously with once voice, smiling, "Good, ain't it? Got it from the human world. Called jazz." The two captains mingled together to form one. "Really popular."

"Is it a torture device?" I blurted out, without thinking, now that my head was feeling more together. It was a strange torture device, causing a person to get dizzy, see double and hurt their ear drums. Perhaps it was to disorient a person until they started speaking, unsure of what they were saying since their ears hurt too much.

The blonde glared at me with brown eyes. "It's _music_, Junko. From the human world."

"Why's it here then?" I asked, muttering. I stared suspiciously at the so called music. There was a curved handle at the top which what looked like a needle was previously pressing against the blank disc. This was what the captain had removed from the disk. Hm… Perhaps a captor would press the captive's hand under the needle until the captive would speak to stop the pain. The sound must have been coming out of the weird horn on top. "And it doesn't sound like music to me. I've never seen this instrument before." Because it's an instrument of torture.

The captain was sulking. Probably because I could tell he was fucking with me. "It's not an instrument. It plays music already played." The more he talked, the more I knew he was making this up. "The instruments are trumpets, trombones, saxophones. It's jazz." He lingered over the word jazz, pronouncing at as _jaaaaazz_,as if I would understand it better. I just stared at him blankly until he muttered, "No appreciation." He scratched his head and stalked back to his desk. "Anyway, didn't I tell ya to stay on the squad grounds this morning?"

A dark eyebrow was raised as I pondered what the captain meant until I realized he was talking about the 'race' during training. Annoyance erupted inside of me as he accused me of cheating and leaving squad grounds. My face turned red in embarrassment. "I didn't leave the squad grounds today! I went straight to the office room to work!" I insisted, my voice increasing in sound. "I never would have disobeyed you!"

"Then why couldn't I sense ya reiatsu?" He retorted back, raising one of his own blond eyebrows. Before I knew it, I was already twisting and folding my reiatsu into nothingness. Angry and proud of my ability. "Because I can do this!" I fired back, watching the man's eyes to rid themselves slowly of annoyance into interest. I leaned back as I felt my reiatsu disappear. "Wasn't aware ya could do that. Ya pretty good at it." I peeked my dark eyes at him, wondering how I must look to him. An angry, child looking shinigami?

The door opened as a man knocked on the door and Lieutenant Aizen's voice popped out. "Captain- Oh. I'm sorry." The kind man seemed genuinely surprised as the captain and I turned to him. Aizen was half in and out of the office. "Forgive me for my intrusion, sir. I did not realize you had company." Soft, brown eyes turned to my direction. "Miss Itou, I can see why Captain Hirako never found you now." My face blushed.

"Yeah, yeah." Captain Hirako was sulking. "Gotta be a show-off, huh Sousuke." Aizen smiled behind his glasses and lowered his head. "Sir."

I was always amazed by how calm Aizen could be with Captain Hirako. The long haired man was never very kind to Lieutenant Aizen and yet, the man always stayed patient. I shook my head out of my reverie. "Captain," I spoke with a more formal voice. "I believe you have some paperwork for me to help you with." The man nodded, looking thoughtful, as I was handed a folder a centimeter thick. I sighed. "When is it due, sir?" The captain shrugged.

"Last week." Sometimes, Hirako annoys me. "Anyway, grab yourself a chair and pull up. Gotta lot of work to do." Due to you. "And watcha want Sousuke?" Like I was told, I grabbed a wooden chair pushed off in a corner before hesitating on where to work while the captain and Lieutenant talked. I froze while watching them talk. There was only one desk in the room. Captain Hirako's. He couldn't possibly mean… Oh no. Why have I never asked Moriko or even Eita! I felt dizzy. There's no way I could sit next to the captain. "Eh, Junko. Stop being lazy and sit down." The captain had spoken and cleared away a spot for me.

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**This is kind of a day in Junko's life, kind of thing. But I started getting it too long and decided to do it in two parts! So, this is kind of Junko's morning. (Haha… Get it? Bitter Mourning…Bitter MORNING. Lawl.) **


	6. Enlivenment

**I'm writing this as I have food poisoning. Please, be thankful! Part two of Junko's day!**

**Maxx: Never got around to responding to you. First, thanks for your diligent reviews! Second, as you found out, most of Junko's early life is premised around Shinji and her shinigami life. Eventually, more will be mentioned about her parents but they aren't on her mind this second. Thanks for the encouragement! ;D**

Chapter Six: Enlivenment

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**(Still) Doing the Captain's Work**

Too close. Sign here. Sign here again. Mark the date. Sign here. Initial. The captain's elbow brushes against mine. Still too close. Try to pull away slightly. Captain just leans over more to read the paper after I pull it closer to me. Oh, I forgot the date on that one. Go back, date, new paper. Read. Stay awake during reading. Tell Captain the short overview. He says to decline it. Stamped with decline. Place in envelope. Go back to send. Captain says to accept this one. Signed, dated, sent to appropriate people to supervise.

That was just the proposals Squad 5 had gotten. This did not account for the documentation involved with each one. We'd have to document which ones where accepted and the reason, as well as the ones that were denied and the reasons for those. We, really Captain Hirako, I just wrote what he said down, had to choose the people who would be in charge. No wonder Captain Hirako was always lazy with this paperwork.

I sighed as I grabbed yet another proposal in a thick folder. "Captain, is it really smart to leave all of these proposals for the last minute?" I slumped as I began to open the papers written a neat, small handwriting. Hirako yawned as I looked at him, causing a yawn to sputter from my own mouth. I rubbed my stressed eyes. His brown eyes looked at me thoughtful for a second.

The captain clapped his hands together. "I know, we'll play some jazz to keep us awake." His chair creaked backward as his thick haori and shihakushō skirted across the ground. The man stood and walked in the direction of the… music/torture device. A stricken look appeared on my face before I started to stutter.

"P-please, Captain H-Hirako!" I exclaimed in a rush. A headache developed at just the thought of the torturing music. "I-I can stay awake without th-that-that thing!" Hirako must have noticed the panic in my voice as he turned around with an unhappy look, his upper teeth showing through his turned lips. "Please." I pleaded.

"Ah!" The man scratched his head before giving me a grumpy face. It was framed by his straight bangs and long blond hair. "Really, Junko, I told you it ain't for torture." I didn't even correct him about using my first name and not my last like the previous days he's spoken to me. I just started to have fear seize my heart. Thankfully, Captain Hirako was just an idiot and not a cruel man. He exhaled a breath of air. "Relax Junko. I'll play ya a different record."

"You promise it's music?" I faintly questioned.

The man nodded without looking my way before turning and saying languidly, "Trust me."

Trust him. That's right. He's my captain. He wouldn't harm his own squad members. I started to relax. He had me lost on what a record was but he removed the black disc from the device and gently slid it into a thick folder. He placed it on the shelf above the device and moved his hand over similar folders, as if debating until finally grabbing one. He took a new disc out of the folder, picked up the needle and placed the disk underneath.

I watched hesitantly as the needle was placed back on top of the new circle. I winced automatically as soft sound started playing throughout the room and calmed down. This… noise wasn't a racket like the other one. I still didn't recognize the instruments and it still sounded metallic like the other but it was calmer and slower. My body began to lessen the tension I had not realized I was holding. The man set back down and grabbed some papers to work on.

"Thank you," I mumbled, softly. I went back to reading more neglected papers once the captain had put on better sounding music. I signed, staring at the pile still one inch thick. Rubbing my eyes with a hand, I pulled out one folder with immaculate writing on the front and took out a small stack of papers. The handwriting was just as diligent and spotless as the outside. Finally, I would have an easy to read paper work and it might provide as a good distraction. Black eyes wandered to the top of the page.

_The Gotei 13 gas always felt responsible for the health of their fellow shinigami and officers. This sense of responsibility led to the development of Squad 4 to heal wounds that shinigami might receive. While not in their job description, Squad 10 is always willing to help others train, even if it might invoke the need for Squad 4's help. Resources have been pooled and Squad 12 monitors and experiments for better treatments and exercising tips. The Gotei 13 has not been lax except in one instance. Sustenance. _

_One of the commonly known differences between regular spirits and shinigami is that those with reiatsu feel hunger. The reasoning is that shinigami need proper nutrition to maintain their health, energy, muscles and brain. Due to the failing nutritional value of the Squad 5 cafeteria, it could be said that the health of its shinigami have been affected. What I propose is to have an update on the cafeteria as to increase the health of the attending shinigami. To support my proposition, I have included, but not limited to, graphs, charts and evidence._

I skimmed through the rest of the article, glancing at the hand drawn images in support of the proposal. It was a lot of work for just a suggestion in updating the food choices at the cafeteria. But it seemed like the person had done their work and was quite serious about the health of other shinigami affect by those who went to the cafeteria for food. I turned to Captain Hirako to voice to him the shortened version of what I had read. Surprisingly, the captain had a furrowed look on his face, tapping his pen against his wooden desk. He wasn't so bad when he was like this; quiet, serious and doing work. He was manageable. And his switching to a different kind of music was….kind of him. I hated to grab his attention when he was like this.

No matter, however. I coughed to grab his attention before speaking, "Captain, I've looked over this document. Would you like…" My soft voice trailed off as I noticed that the blonde captain had not yet looked up from the papers. It was startling to see him work so hard. Was the captain always like this and just acted silly? I took the time he was preoccupied to study him. When I thought of it, I didn't know that much about the man. He moved to turn a page from one document and in doing so, blonde hair fell onto one of his shoulders. You know, how does Captain Hirako maintain his hair in battles? Mine must be a bit shorter and yet, I can barely fight with black strands in my face.

"You gonna stop gaping at my anytime soon?" I saw his lips move. I heard his voice. I knew he meant me. But I was so mortified at being caught that my voice slipped from me and my face was bright red before I answered.

"I wasn't gaping! My mouth wasn't open!" I objected.

He threw me a look before stating, "Stop gaping now then." I yelled an unintelligible word, grabbed at my dark hair before slamming my face into my desk. "Just when I think you're okay, you do something like this," I mumbled to the aged wood.

Captain stated lazily above me, " Hm, sorry. Didn't catch that." I turned my face resting on the desk to look at the tanned man. Smoothly, the man was picking earwax out of his ear. Elegant, really. "What'd ya say?" Begrudgingly, I dragged my head from his desk and grumbled, "I have the report on this article, sir." Absentmindedly, Captain Hirako nodded his head, "Go on with it."

Exhaling, I began. "The article suggests updating the cafeteria for more healthy choices. It states the improved health of the squad's shinigami would counteract any negative price effects. It's really well written and supported," I added monotonously, waiting for the captain to have me elaborate on, disapprove or approve the proposal. The captain only thought for a few seconds. "Would you like me to continue?"

"No, scrape it."

Okay, I know I just said that I was waiting for Captain Hirako to tell me to approve or disapprove the proposal but I did not think the latter would happen. I thought it was a guaranteed acceptance. There were no downsides to the proposal, assuming the data was correct. "But sir," I explained. "Perhaps you should read the proposal. It suggests that shinigami who eat the healthier food would be able to fulfill more duties immediately and likely continue as full time officers for at least five years longer. Is it really wise to ignore this?"

Hirako scratched at his blonde head before answering, "If people want different options of food to eat, there's a ton of places to go out to eat. Most eat out anyway."

"Captain, maybe people only eat out because the food is mediocre. Perhaps if the food was better, more people would stay on the squad to eat and have more time to work. And anyway, most people do not eat out," I retorted in protest. I'm not usually this adamant but I took this a bit more personal that such a good proposal was turned down.

The captain snickered before saying, "Like who? You? Do you know anyone who stays on the squad to eat?"

"Yes, I always eat there", I blandly responded, tilting my head. Was there a problem with that? I looked at the captain as he stared at me in disbelief. "No, you don't," He spoke as if he couldn't believe what I said was true. I scrunched my face. "Yes, I do. And you know. I do feel sluggish after I eat the cafeteria food." I didn't understand why the captain threw his head back and started bursting in laughter but I knew I felt embarrassment for reasons unknown to me. I was also a bit annoyed. "What's so funny?" I snapped.

Captain Hirako ignored my question and responded with one of his own. "Do you ever have any fun, Junko?" Oh, yes. I was embarrassed. And I bristled at the use of my first name. My own captain was asking if I ever had any fun. I bet Captain Kuchiki wouldn't care if I never had any fun. Sure, I heard the old man was a bit of a tight ass but so was I. I should have been in his squad. "Yes," I answered self-consciously. "I can have quite a bit of fun." He didn't stop laughing but he did slow down to a snigger. "And I prefer Itou," I reminded him stiffly.

"Sure, Junko," He was purposely ignoring my request to be called Itou! But I knew now he was fucking with me. "I bet ya have to be ordered to have fun." My eye started twitching behind long black bangs.

"This conversation is over!" I yelled before tensely went back to work. I tried scooting away from the man. "Just…just stay on your side." My legs were pressed against each other and the desk but that was no matter. It was better to be squished than by this man. But of course he did what he did next. He's just the type.

He just had to scoot over to meet me, already squished against the desk, inch by inch. Each inch my heart started beating faster until I felt like I couldn't breathe. Luckily, our chairs kept from him getting closer but his legs were brushing against my own. I sincerely thought I might faint. "I said that side!" I rushed, panicking. Captain Hirako finally pulled away from me with the grace of appearing apologetic.

"Alright, alright. You don't have to squeeze yourself into the desk so much. Look, I'll move over." The chair's legs scraped against the floor as there was more space between us and I watched him from the corner of my eyes. I was hesitant but moved a couple inches over myself. "But you really do need to have some fun before you die of stress."

I sighed at his words as my stomach began to grumble. Now that I thought of it, we had been working while the window behind us had grown darker. And I was tired of dealing with Captain Hirako. "Sir, it's late. May I be excused for dinner?" This talk of needing more fun was growing thin on me. I expected Captain Hirako to agree to my request but when does he ever do anything I expect? I should learn my lesson. Hirako instead gave me that creepy smirk, the one that no one should be allowed to use, before answering, "Actually, we're going on a mission."

**Mission/Dinner**

Top priority mission, he said. It's important, the captain had said.

At first, I felt excited as I had not really experienced any fights except with other people. But as we continued walking through the darkening streets past the squad and through the Seireitei, suspicion began to grow inside of me. When my suspicion became known to Captain Hirako, he admitted the truth but still did not unveil the location of our pursuit. And how was I to say no to my captain? Oh, yeah. Like this.

"Really, ya gonna do this again?" Captain Hirako questioned as he was pulling on my free wrist while my other hand gripped a metal pole stuck to the ground. I paid him no attention as slim fingers concentrated on holding the pole. It was too obvious that Captain could just use his strength and jerk me away but it seemed he was too kind for that. "Doesn't it get old?"

"You told me this was a mission! You liar!" My eyes screwed shut in deliberation despite my hand begin to slip on the pole. To be honest, I was disappointed there was no mission. I really needed to get away from this paperwork.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you. Do you have to act like such a baby?"

"Hey! How I act is my own business!" Should I be insulted that my own idiot of a captain calls me a baby? Really. He's the one who lies to me about a mission then admits we're just getting food. Who lies to their officers to get food? And I'm the immature one. I took this moment break my wrist away from the captain. Twisting my hand, I was able to get my inner wrist to the location where Captain Hirako's grasping fingers met. Then, making a fist, I was able to yank my fist toward me to break free and wrap both arms around the pull.

Girls, that's a trick from the Rukongai! No guy will ever be able to grab your wrist and hold it with that move.

Captain Hirako heaved a breath of air then, muttering more to himself than speaking to me, he said, "Can't believe I gotta do this." I braced myself in anticipation of the incoming attack, wrapping my arms around the pull and holding my shoulders. In doing so, I left one place I did not expect attack vulnerable. The blonde man's fingers were suddenly on the sides of my waist. I tried to jerk away but my grip on the rusty pole left little room for me.

Even though the man's fingers only grazed my sides, I suddenly felt like laughing. And at that moment, I was laughing. Panicked and high pitched, almost like a breathless scream. I tried jerking away but his fingers kept finding me. The man was quiet while he kept up his attack on me.

"Oh, god! What are you doing?" The laughter was starting to hurt my stomach. "Why am I-," A breath of air. "Laughing?" This wasn't funny. It was starting to get hard to breathe. It was hurting my chest and sides. And my grasp was starting to loosen. If Hirako didn't stop, I felt like I might die soon! "Stop! Stop-please!" I was laughing as much as I was breathing heavily when my hands let go of the pole.

Body! Stop laughing! This is torture. Don't you get it?

Captain, however, wasted no time in grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder. What a showoff. His haori was shoved into my face as I hung upside down, trying to breathe at a normal rate. I could hear this smirk in his voice as he stated, "That was a good plan, if I say so." Muffled sounds came out of my mouth as I threatened and cursed my captain. "Got ya to laugh." Die. Die. Die.

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I soon as we entered a brightly lit building, I was forced to duck aside as a flying missile came from nowhere. "Hey, dumbass!" A brute voice rang out. It hit Captain Hirako straight in the nose, causing him to fly back, blood squirting everywhere. I jumped farther away to avoid the red spray. Hirako piteously fell to the ground. "Captain," I admonished with surprise. "You should do better than that." He groaned.

"Why are we always waiting for you?" The same brute voice. Female, too. A short, pig tailed blonde girl came sauntering over to the bloody captain and yanked him up by his hair.

Ha! I knew that long hair was trouble.

"Damn it, Hiyori! That hurts!" It took little for Captain to start cursing at her while blood trickled from his nose. And across his face was the print of a shoe. He was making faces at the little girl with the snaggletooth scowl. My mouth willingly started laughing at the sight. It was nice to see him put in his spot. But the girl ignored him, grabbed her shoe, grabbed Hirako's hair and ambled back to a table with a few more people.

I could have escaped then. The only people here were the workers and the crowd of people at the one table. Their attention was on the girl and Hirako but I was so stunned at the girl's actions that I did not move. I've never seen someone so openly violent against a captain. Said girl flipped her head over her shoulder, glared at me and rang out, "You coming?" I didn't know if it was fear or astonishment about her that I followed behind. She plodded into a seat while Hirako sunk down in one. I hesitated, glancing at all the unknown faces in wide eyes and sat next to Hirako.

Eyes were on me. Too many. I stared with black eyes down to my lap. "Who's the chick?" A white haired man asked after a moment of silence. He meant me but never addressed the question to me. I felt no need to answer. Instead, I paled at the sight of the white, sleeveless captain's haori he wore. My mouth was too dry to talk. He was a captain.

"She's one of my 14th seats," Hirako grumbled, holding tissues up to my nose. No, idiot! He wants my name! Give it to him for me! I don't want to speak. But no, he's concentrating on the blood coming from his nose. Wow. The world would be so less complicated if I could project my thoughts into other people's minds.

"Her name," The white haired one elaborated. A green haired girl- wait, yup, green hair- saved me from speaking by punching the captain in his large biceps. I gasped in horror. Does no one here have respect for captains?

"Kensei! That was rude," She wailed. "Try this," The girl turned her bright green eyes toward me. I was caught like a moth in the light. "Hey, hey! What's your name? Come on, what's your name!" She was hopping up and down on her seat suddenly, my head bouncing as I followed her movements before I caught the glimpse of her lieutenant's badge. The white haired man was left yelling at her.

A magazine was thrown on the table. "She's a bit stiff but I can work with that," A girl with glasses mumbled before smiling at me. I relax by a little. "Sorry about these brutes. My name is Lisa Yadomaru. May I ask your name?" She was so polite that I was calm enough to answer. Until a fourth person spoke.

"Yes, we do apologize for the others. And a beautiful flower as yourself must have a beautiful name," I glanced toward the man speaking just as he brought his hat down from his head and crossed it with his chest. His brown hair was curly, his face scruffy and he wore…. Oh, no. He wore a flowery haori over a captain's haori. There was no need of introductions for this one. Everyone knew Captain Kyoraku.

"I told you, she's mine, Captain," The once polite girl spoke as her glasses glittered in the light. This girl seemed scarier now. A punch resounded as she hit Kyoraku while I began looking more around at the table's occupants.

A white haired captain.

A bitchy lieutenant.

A silly lieutenant.

A scary lieutenant.

A flowery captain.

My captain.

Some scruffy, blonde captain.

I was most definitely not in my comfort zone. The captain with the scruffy face laughed while scratching blonde hair. "Please forgive them. They always act like this. I'm Kisuke Urahara." I was still on guard as I inspected him. He was one of the newest captains. He'd only been on the Gotei 13 for a few years. I clasped my hands tighter in my lap and bowed my head. Robotically, I stated, "My name is Junko Itou. Please, call my Itou and take care of me."

I tried taking steady breaths. See, it's not too bad, right? The braided girl flicked her glasses up and stated, "I don't mind the innocent types." Lisa, that's right. Her name is Lisa. She's the lieutenant to Captain Kyoraku. He introduced himself afterward which was unnecessary. He's a legend to all the academy students. Everyone knows his name. He did strangely hold out his hand, though, as if I was supposed to take it. I don't know why the others laughed as I started at it.

A thin smile appeared on my lips forcefully as each person went around introducing themselves. "I'm Mashiro and this idiot is Kensei!" The green haired girl exclaimed energetically, pumping her fist in the air. That was all the introduction I received as Kensei grabbed the lieutenant and began squishing a black gloved fist into her hair in pay back. No wonder Captain likes this crowd. They're all insane like him. Speaking of captain…

Captain Hirako and the blonde girl were giving angry, stupid faces at each other. Thinking of it, she was the same girl that Hirako was making faces at when I graduated from the academy. He still hasn't grown up. Or maybe… Well, they do look alike.

"Is this your sister, Captain?" I blurted out from a small mouth without thinking. The table slammed to a quiet halt as everyone was quiet. And then, laughter erupted. I was oblivious as to why the blonde girl unexpectedly flew from her chair and tried launching herself at me. I gasped and pulled back in my seat. Captain Urahara was quick and saved me by grabbing her around the middle.

"How dare you suggest something so idiotic and repulsive? Let me at her, you stinky idiot captain!" She sounded like she was growling, eyes pointed toward me in daggers. Is this what people felt like when I glared at them? No wonder they didn't like to talk with me, I thought, as I gaped at the young girl.

Even the captain was staring at me reproachfully but no one elaborated on what I did wrong. How was I supposed to know when I just met these people today? "What? Is he your boyfriend?" I hated being confused. Disastrous words come out of my mouth. The blond snarled and tried to get out of Urahara's grip. "I-I'm sorry. I just thought-," I was staring at her with wide eyes.

"Well, don't," She sneered before placing her hand on her zanpakuto. "Learn your place."

What did she just do? As I saw her hand on the hilt of zanpakuto, I stumbled out of my chair, the wooden legs scraping, and fingers clasping at the hilt of my own sword. I was too shocked at the girl's reactions to pull it from the sheath properly when Captain Urahara grabbed Hiyori- that's her name- by the wrist.

A hand wrapped itself around my shoulders before holding my mouth shut, jerking my back to my seat. The hand's skin was rough against my lips but I didn't complain as I watched the girl sit back down in her seat reluctantly, Hirako watching all the way before giving me a look and letting me go. That look? Pretty sure it said don't fucking mess with that girl.

"You have to forgive Hiyori, Junko. She was raised by dogs," Captain Hirako explained as he took a foot in the face by said girl.

"Hiyori," Captain Urahara rang out. "What do you say to Junko?" No, Itou! Damn you, captain!

The pigtailed girl was slumping in her seat, glaring at me as her tooth stuck out from her mouth, "Don't be such an idiot next time." Ouch, harsh. A thin smile twitched to my lips in response. Urahara winked an eye. "That's her sorry." Well. It appears that Hirako's friends are either insane or homicidal. It explains his personality. "Shut it, idiot!" Hiyori demanded.

Mashiro began to complain while she rocked her seat back and forth, "Aw, come on, pig tails! You really are a kill joy!" The blonde snapped but more harmless than prior that.

"It's joy kill, stupid," Kensei muttered while Mashiro refused to believe him. The tension was broken at the table was conversations spouted off in different directions, starting with Captain Kensei -last name unknown- and Lieutenant Mashiro. Hirako, Hiyori and Urahara were talking in a small circle so perhaps the three blondes did not dislike each other as much as it appeared. Captain Kyoraku and Lieutenant Yadomaru were speaking to each other quietly and quickly, as if in deep debate but they kept pointing back to the magazine with girls on the cover. I stared down at the table, wondering the point of being here.

Should have ran off when I had the chance. My dinners aren't like this. I go to the cafeteria. I eat while reading a book. I go back to my bedroom. I read some more books and I do research. I make notes. Sometimes, I'll go to take a walk. Sometimes, the 3rd seat will bother me if he sees me walking but otherwise, my night is quiet. It's comfortable. It's not being shoved in some unknown place then ignored.

A finger tapped my arm and I looked up hopefully just to see the waitress smiling down at me. "What can I get for you?" Her voice was nice and sweet. I've been around shinigami for so long that I sometimes forget about the other souls. "Um," I averted my eyes from her pretty green ones. "Could I have egg and tomato rice with water, please?" The girl nodded and went on to the next person.

"Eh, let's go with four bottles of sake," Hirako answered the woman then pointed to each person before stating, "And eight cups." Eh? There were eight people here. I wasn't planning on drinking. When I tried to speak up, I was spoken over.

"Better make that 6 bottles with Kyoraku, Captain," Lisa tittered.

"And one more with Lisa here," Captain Kyoraku retorted. I ogled at the thought of how much sake everyone was planning to drink. And wasn't that Hiyori girl too young? It was nice to see, though, a captain and lieutenant who fit so well together. Yadomaru and Kyoraku seemed to mesh well. It was disappointed after witnessing how little Hirako and Aizen had in comment.

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Okay, I'll admit. The meal wasn't too bad. It was simple but had a nice blend of rice, tomatoes and eggs. It was better than the cafeteria food that scrimped in the eggs but gave a ton of rice. With everyone eat, there weren't many people talking. But this part was just getting too ridiculous.

"Come on, do it, Jun," Mashiro had half of herself placed eagerly over the table in an act to watch me closely. I shifted in my seat. That's right. Jun, like the month of June. I took it upon herself to give me a nickname. "No, thank you. And please stop calling me that."

Lisa lifted her glasses to her nose as the shimmered in the light. "Mashiro's right, Junko. You'll feel much more relaxed. Perhaps I could even rub your shoulders afterward." I'm pretty sure I don't want to relax when this crowd is around.

I grew more rigid. "I'd rather not, Lieutenant. And I prefer Itou." Lisa pouted and responded, "Junko, you can call me Lisa. I'm off-work. You don't have to say lieutenant." She shifted closer to me in her seat. I glanced desperately at my captain for help but instead of being chivalrous, he sniggered.

"Told you, Junko. Can't have anyone fun unless you're ordered to."

I glared at the blonde captain. "You know better than to call me that, Captain." I tried glancing around to look for help- perhaps one of the captains. Captain Urahara shrugged at me with pity in his face. Captain Kensei wasn't even paying attention but trying to get Mashiro to sit. Perhaps Captain Kyoraku?

Captain Kyoraku clasped one of my hands in both of his. His face was tinted pink from sake. Sigh. "Oh, beautiful Junko," Really. I'm not that pretty. He's just drunk. "A beautiful flower such as yourself need not shy away in fear." Well, he was useless.

Finally, Hiyori snapped. For a split second, I felt hope. Maybe she would tell them to stop because she was annoyed? I zeroed my dark eyes on the young girl. "Do it just to shut them up, idiot." My eye twitched as my hands slammed the table. Even her? Wow.

"Fine! But quit calling me Junko!" I shouted, a scowl etched deeply in my face. I grabbed the sake bottle, three-fourths full, determined to quiet the rowdy group and placed it to my lips. The warm liquid slid down my throat thickly. I've had sips of sake before but nothing like this. I stopped when my throat began to sputter some of the sake back in protest. Someone slapped my back and I finished the rest of the bottle.

Surprised looks were pointing my way but with a dribble of sake on my chin, I ignored them and discreetly wiped the liquid off. The glass bottle was smooth as I slid it back across the wooden table. "Happy now?" I grumbled to them. They were all still staring at me. Mashiro was even giggling. Lisa had on a smirk. "Well, what?" Some of the sake was bubbling not all too well in my stomach.

I turned to Hirako and one of his blonde eyebrows was raised above his eyes. "We just wanted you to drink a glass, Junko."

A glass? Like, one glass? I drank that horrid stuff for nothing. "Then why the hell did you let me finish it?" I screeched while the rest began to laugh. Mashiro's laugh was high. Kyoraku's gruff. Kensei was more of a short chortle than anything. Hiyori more sneered than laughed. Okay, this group was weird but they were light people, at least. They laughed, they had fun. I was a bit jealous.

Okay, Captain Hirako, you got me. You guys have fun. I don't.

Captain Kyoraku grabbed a bottle of sake and threw his hand in the air, "To Junko," he proclaimed. Lisa followed him. "To beautiful Junko!" Note to self: Stay away from these two.

"Hey!" I objected. "I said no more calling me Junko!" I was ignored.

Mashiro grabbed a sake cup, "To JunJun!" No JunJun. JunJun is even worse that Junko. I tried not to pull pieces of my hair out. "Come on Kensei! Do it! Now!" What a forceful girl. She grabbed the captain's arm and forced it up. "To Junko," He mumbled lazily.

My eye was twitching. My hands were twitching. Captain Urahara shrugged and both he and Captain Hirako raised their glasses. "To Junko," They mimicked each other.

"AAH! I know you're all doing this to fuck with me!" I snarled, especially to Captain Hirako who found it all amusing.

Hiyori perked up and threw her own glass in the hair. "If that's the case," She smirked. "To Junko!" Everyone cheered.

"Fuck all of you."

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**So, is there any music anyone particularly listens to or think fits this story? I'm curious. I don't really listen to music when I write but maybe you guys listen to it when you read?**

**Thanks for reading! ;D**


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